No Late Night Noshing

Yep. I even got up at 2 am and went into the kitchen. Then I just grabbed my glass of water and chug-a-lugged half a glass and went back to bed:) Yeah, I know, I pretty much rock! Now to carry this victory to another night....I can do it.

Yesterday's calories had to be adjusted for the 3 beers I had. I just had to cut out a few items, but my numbers still looked great. I accounted for a few more today. It's nice and hot here. Nothing like an ice cold beer when it's hot out. Unfortunately there's also nothing like that beer gut you get from too many:)

My boys are annoying me right now. First, they got up before God, and then were making a bunch of noise. I wanted to crawl under the covers. Now they are just bouncing off the walls. It's gonna be one of those days, I think. I just have to chill out and not let them get to me. Easier said than done some days.

Mark and I had a weird/good talk last night. It's kinda personal, but I think I wanna share in the interest of helping others maybe....we've been not so close since my little one was born. I know the reason but never explained it to him. Well, last night I did. He doesn't realize that I don't feel super sexy or pretty anymore. I have gained about 30 pounds since Ivan was born, and I have really really big ugly scars all over my abdomen, from hip to hip, and a large one on my rear. I got the scars after I had Ivan and got those infections. Now, once I got to thinking about it, I think the reason I am having a hard time losing the weight is because maybe deep down I like it and don't want to lose it because it gives me a cushion against things. Like being overweight will keep Mark away from me and I won't have to deal with feeling weird about my scars. I never thought I'd do something like that, but it makes sense to me. I guess I just had an epiphany last night! I'm just feeling unattractive, so I'm keeping my outside matching my inside. I don't think he really knew what to say, other than he accepts me the way I am now. But still. I don't believe it. Maybe the scars, but my flabby gut??? It didn't look like that before. And I don't want him looking at it ever.....Boy I got issues!!! *sigh* Excuse the random psychological evaluation....

So my food today is delicious and CRON-eriffic:
-coffee, half and half, and stevia
-banana/blueberry smoothie with almond milk
-lettuce/cucumber/tomato salad with cucumber dill dressing
-zucchini pasta with raw marinara
-2 c watermelon
-2 c pineapple
-raw tabouli (no bulghur)
-BEER!!!

Total=1615