Biting the bullet

Well, I did it. I finally reached my breaking/desperation point. After much research, I ordered my first 5 weeks of the Medifast plan. I just really need something I don't have to worry or think about too much. Obviously, me being in control of my food is not working for weight loss. So I'll put it in someone else's hands for a few months. From what I've been reading, a lot of people who need to lose about 40 pounds like me do it in 3-4 months. Once it's off, I just know I can keep it off, since I'm not gaining now and haven't for a while, other than the odd two or three pounds up and down. I work out every day in some way, so exercise isn't something I'll need to worry about once the weight's off. I already have the habit.
However, looking at some of the ingredients is a little scary. Frankenfood. The 'eggs' are not real eggs. The first ingredient may indeed be eggs, but there's a whole plethora of junk after that. The good thing is that almost everything is fortified w/ vitamins and minerals. I think that's a good thing, anyway. I figure I may not have the whole-foods way of life right now, but I know that after the weight comes off, I'll go back to my sometimes-raw-but-always-healthy-and-whole-foods self. I'm just so damn desperate to get the weight off. I'm grasping at straws. I know this. But something's gotta give. My mother had good results on Medifast years ago. I know, she may still be obese now, but back then she wasn't nearly as big as she is now. She can't exercise due to her hips (she is in a scooter-chair), and her diet is poor now. So she didn't really stick to a healthy lifestyle.
Oh, I got a great compliment from my mom in an email. She was saying she was regretting a comment that she made about me looking like her Aunt Carolyn. I replied back, "What an apple on two toothpicks???" I thought it was a funny moment, but she felt bad for commenting on my shape and said she didn't mean to hurt my feelings (which she didn't). Well, she said in her email that I looked "awesome" and that she wished she looked as good. That blew me away. She's never ever said anything like that to me. It was a big encouragement. It lets me know that even though I may be overweight, I'm generally happy and am taking care of myself. I haven't given up on me. I hate when people fall into self-hatred and low confidence just because they are out of shape or overweight. I mean, we all have our pity party moments, but in general I like to dress nice and do my hair and makeup still. There's no reason to stop loving yourself just because of your perceived 'flaws'. You need to treat yourself nice and do whatever you need to do to feel good about yourself, whether that's eating healthy and exercising, or finding clothes that flatter you.
Ok, this was a lenthy post. I'll get off my soapbox now. Wow, this was like a pity party and cheering session all in one! I feel better now. I've purged:)