CRON-ological

Primal

2010-07-13T07:17:00.004-04:00

Yep. This cavegirl is going primal. Well, there's really all sorts of names for this way of eating, but I like primal best. Basically, it's eating how our ancestors long ago did. This means low carb, yes, but I will be getting plenty of fruits and veggies, just no grains. I've been poring over so much information on this, and it seems to just feel right and it 'clicked' with my brain. I will be eating plenty of animal too. This may turn off some readers and I totally respect that. It is a huge turnaround from the direction I was headed. I'm looking in to buying all grass-fed pastured beef and fowl.

I have read the science. I can point to several blogs that get all sorts of scientifical about the topic. Mark Sisson has a great one that a lot of people read, Mark's Daily Apple. Anyone interested in checking it out should start there. I'm not going to debate on end with anyone or try to 'convert' people. I'm just honestly too lazy for that! But I will be moving this blog to a wordpress blog, and if you want to follow me there, I heartily welcome all of you to check out this crazy chica's adventures! Primal Dawn.

I know this is a big turn off for some, so that's why I decided to move the blog. I don't expect everyone to follow and this is a chance to start over, clean and fresh! My workouts have changed as well. Lots of bodyweight stuff, less cardio. And yes, I've lost some weight, but I know for a fact it's just water weight right now. But changes are happening and I'm loving it. I'm sleeping, for one. Another thing is I seem to have a ton more energy! I was cleaning the house a lot yesterday, and I didn't even pass out on the couch at 8 like I always do, then wake up two or three times during the night. I slept all through the night last night and didn't go to bed til 10:30. I don't need my morning coffee, either. Do I want it out of habit? Sure, and sometimes I'll have a cup (with stevia still, thanks Sie!).

So, that's the latest and the greatest for me. I will still be reading my CR blogs, and as a matter of fact, CR is actually possible with this plan as well. So I'll be focusing on eating right and still counting those calories. What amazes me is that I can eat in the morning and now I don't feel hungry or like I'm battling hunger all day. I just fuel up, then forget about it til the afternoon. I'm not snacking or constantly thinking about my next meal. I feel free from food obsessing. I was honestly eating 5 or 6 times a day with my quasi-veggie-raw approach, and still feeling hungry. Now, I just eat my breakfast and am satisfied for hours on end. Sweet freedom!

If you feel like checking out some of the primal sites, I will be linking to them over at Primal Dawn. I do think that my readers and I have developed a mutual respect, so I'd love to see what you think, even if you disagree! I am not much of a debater, I'll leave that to others, but I will still find your thoughts interesting and worthy, be they cheering me on or shaking head in shame:)

Signing off now....Dawn.

Big Time Changes

2010-07-12T13:17:00.003-04:00

Big changes to be announced soon. Will probably lose some of my legions of followers, hehe. All eleven that read regularly:) That's about as much as I want to disclose right now. I'm only 4 days into it and I'm loving what I'm experiencing.

It's a complete 180 from where I was. Sorry to be such a tease....well, no I'm not, really:P

"Running, running, running....

2010-07-08T09:57:00.002-04:00

as fast as we can, do you think we'll make it?"- No Doubt

I restarted C25K today, week 2. It was easy. Yep. I pretty much killed it. All 23 minutes of it, ha. I did realize, however, that I need some new running music. I'm getting very bored of my stuff. Any suggestions??? I'm all over the map with music. Metal, pop, dance, rap....it's all good.

We may have people over Saturday. It's not definite yet. A couple, M's bff for years and his wife, and their 3 teen boys. I'm gonna need a lot of food, needless to say. And those boys and dad are not small peeps either. I will be grilling the usual stuff, burgers and dogs or something, and making some sides that I will chow on, some salads and fruits and such.

M and I have a Scrabble tournament for the weekend. We play best 2 out of 3 over the course of the weekend. I beat him down last weekend. Seriously, I scored 127 on one word! He's out for revenge.....

Foodie Goodness for me:
-coffee
-4 spring rolls and mock peanut sauce
-cherry/blueberry smoothie
-1 c pineapple
-that salad from yesterday, it was delish.....apples and walnuts and such.
-Raw curry cantaloupe soup
-avocado and tomato sandwich
-3 light beers

Grand Total=1675

Mmmmm beer:)

That's The Wrong Spinach

2010-07-07T08:22:00.002-04:00

That's what I said to M when he returned from the market w/ regular ole spinach. I specified baby spinach. He said that's all they had. Well, I know that's not all they had, but he tried, so we'll let him think that's all they had;) I need need need some green for me smoothies!!! Just a li'l handful to toss in for extra nutrition. So I'll use the tough 'old bird' spinach today, but I'm getting to the store today for some supplies and you bet baby spinach is on that list!

It is HOT here. Like, my thermostat is reading 97 degrees hot. We have AC in our little office room so that's where we've been spending a lot of time. I've barely been keeping up with the dishes. That's how hot it is. No laundry, no cleaning, no nothing. Just keeping cool. So, I've gotten nowhere in my C25K lately. As soon as this breaks, which is supposed to be Friday or Saturday, I'll get back to it. My boxing career is in limbo. I can only go Sat. and Sun., because my little one has to catch the bus and I don't have time to go to class and make it back in time to feed him 'lunch'. I say 'lunch' with quotes because he eats it at 10am. The bus comes shortly after, and they don't give them lunch. So we do a Lunch Part I (before school) and Part II (after school). So I need to either get my butt out of the house at night....seriously I'm laughing as I read that sentence....or resign myself to two days a week boxing. Lame. But, I am aware that if I really want this, I need to make it happen, even if that means getting out of the house to work out at 5 at night. *Sigh*...... Why can't things just be easy??? Oh, I guess then I wouldn't want them as much then, would I?

So, food o' the day is going to look a little something like:

-coffee
-4 raw spring rolls and mock peanut sauce
-smoothie #1: Cherry/blueberry/water
-Raw gazpacho
-1c pineapple
-Smoothie #2:Mango/peach/vanilla hemp/water
-Salad from a recipe book: It's got baby greens, apples, walnuts, and an orange poppy seed dressing....I'll keep ya posted on this one.

Total Tally-1599

We'll see if I can actually eat all of this. With the heat, though, my appetite is hit or miss. I'm thinking since most of the stuff is cold, I can do it.

So, that's it for this girl, how u be???

4th

2010-07-05T07:47:00.002-04:00

My 4th was actually fun. We aren't big celebrators here. For one, I grew up with the fun of fireworks in the driveway at home. We bought a big family pack of fireworks and after dinner would go and light up the night. Good memories. Except for sparklers. I was terrified of them. However, here in NY, it's illegal, so my kids won't have that experience. And I hate the beach, which is where one spends the 4th out here in my area. You just do. Or, at least everyone else does. But we don't. Usually. I say usually because yesterday we actually hit the beach. We live about 2 and a half minutes from the beach and never go. A friend was going and invited us along. This friend is moving very soon to Texas and I's gonna miss her terribly. But it's good for her family. I didn't have my older boy, just the little man. It was his first time at the beach. He was having a great time til Daddy took him to the actual water. Then he freaked:) Oh well, I guess when you're only up to most adult's knees, the waves and sounds can be a little overwhelming. But he had a blast playing with his new sand toys and going on the little playground. And neither he nor I burned. We're both very fair, him especially, and we had an umbrella and lots of SPF 50:) So it was a success.

I didn't CR yesterday. I haven't even punched the numbers in the 'meter' yet. I'll try to, just so I have an attempt at accuracy. I can tell you I had plenty of red meat and alcohol. And honestly, the hot dog and burger I had weren't even that good. I could have lived without them. Well, what I should have done is made some spectacular dish to bring along. Wowed them with my healthy culinary skills. But after getting everyone ready and the car packed and shopping for an umbrella at 8 in the morning.....I was done. I was ordered...er, asked....to bring the fruit. So that was a plus. Fresh watermelon and pineapple. Then we left before it was even eaten! Ha. But I didn't touch the mayo-and-sugar-laden potato and macaroni salad. So, could it have been better? Sure. But it also could have been worse. I'll take it.

Today is back to the CR grind. We are in the midst of a heat wave here on the east coast. It was 97 yesterday and supposed to be hotter today. So lots of water and fresh cold fruits and veggies for us. Curious? Wanna know what I'll be consuming? Huh? Huh? I thought soo....

-Coffee (should have made iced)
-4 raw spring rolls with mock peanut sauce (loving these)
-1 c watermelon
-Smoothie: Frozen cherries, blueberries, water
-Jerusalem salad w/ lemon tahini dressing
-MF mushroom lover's veggie burger, whole grain bun, 'special sauce'
-Raw gazpacho
-Panzanella....this is a delish italian bread and tomato salad. It's got a vinaigrette, olives, and some parmesan cheese shavings....mmmm. Oh, and basil. Lots of basil.

Grand Total=1678

Aiming Low

2010-07-02T11:39:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I wrote about "aiming low". Well I aimed low alright. Low on the nutritional spectrum! Seriously, it's like I wrote everything out, plugged it into the CRON-o-meter, then just forgot it all and pigged out! I won't rehash the gory details, do I really need to? Nah. Just know I came in WELL over my 1700 calorie target. And there were cookies involved. Need I say more?

But do you want to know what I did? I went back into the CRON-o-meter and plugged every last bite into the program. Yep. If I want to track my calories properly and look at the averages and such, I need to be 100% honest, right? Right.

So today is a new day and a chance to start over. I had my coffee and one smoothie already. A yummy concoction of frozen cherries and frozen blueberries w/ a little water. Mmmm. And I have all the rest of my nutritious food planned. I also have the will and drive to stick to it today!

I have 4 boys at the house today. My two and two friends of my son's. It's a little crazy, you could say. They are upstairs, downstairs, outside, screaming and yelling. I had a nice easy day planned but that went out the window, to say the least. Their mother was having some issues today and needed help desperately. So I told her no problem. Even though the last time her younger boy was here (he was tagging along with his big brother) he threw a rock at his brother's head:( I'm hoping we can avoid any tears or injuries today.

So, the nom nom nomminess for the day:)

-coffee
-2 c watermelon
-smoothie #1: cherry/blueberry/water
-smoothie #2: pineapple/banana/baby spinach/water
-4 raw spring rolls and mock peanut sauce
-baby spinach salad w/ tahini lemon dressiing
-veggie burger, whole grain bun, ketchup and mustard
-raw tabouli
-grilled zucchini and peppers
-3 brazil nuts

Ok, that is honestly a ton of food, right???
The total? 1592- Yep. I still have room, people!!!

Ch-ch-ch-changes

2010-07-01T06:57:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I ended up switching up the food, again. After my run to the grocery store, I was the proud owner of some highly processed veggie "buffalo wings". Mmmmm. I regret nothing. I did come in alright though, about 100 over at 1800, but still in good shape.

I'll be doing Day 3 of my C25K today. Yes! The whole first week is the same intervals. Then every week after that is a different workout each day. The program only has you running 3 days a week. Which is great, cuz that leaves plenty of time for.....boxing!! I'm happy to report, we are a go for Sat and Sun boxing. Yay.

I don't have much inspirational or clever things to say today, so I'll just get to the food:

-coffee
-3 raw spring roll and mock peanut sauce
-jerusalem salad w/ tahini lemon salad
-2 c watermelon
-bean and kale minestra w/ 2 slices sourdough
-Smoothie o' the day: Frozen cherries, blueberries, and water....

I found some yummy frozen cherries and mango chunks at the market. I was probably more excited than anyone should really be over fruit:)

Total= 1520

And again, I'm aiming low, but I'll probably add a brazil nut or two or something....stay tuned.

Reworked Food for June 30, 2010

2010-06-30T08:10:00.002-04:00

Okay, after much poring over cookbooks and calculating and consulting the CRON-o-meter, I have a new and majorly delicious food o' the day!! Try not to be too jealous:P

-3 raw spring rolls w/ mock peanut sauce (Jennifer Cornbleet's book)
-Jerusalem salad (cucumber and tomato and onion) w/ tahini lemon dressing
-Cucumbers w/ mint (Cornbleet)
-Green smoothie (pineapple, banana, kale, lime juice)
-Bean and Kale Minestra from my old Moosewood book
-1 large slice sourdough (for soup)
-2 c watermelon
-coffee

Total= 1696

Yeah baby!!! Summer time and the eatin's easy.....

C25K Progresses

2010-06-30T07:20:00.003-04:00

Week 1, Day 2 of the C25K looks exactly like day one. It's intervals: walking 90 seconds, running 60 seconds, repeat for 20 minutes. I have to say, yesterday was easy. But I want to start from the beginning and start easy so I don't burn out. I think when you're starting out it's better to stop on a high note, even feeling like, "Oh, I sooo could have gone another ten minutes." That way you feel like a success. Then once you get a little better and in shape, let it rip!

Yesterday I had some last minute substitutions. Instead of the hummus wrap I've been eating every single day now, I had some pasta salad I made. It didn't have much oil in it and it had lots of veggies. And I had some ice cream late last night:( My little one got up 4 times last night. I think he was having a nightmare. Well, whatever it was, it left me up and roaming the kitchen at 2am. But I did adjust the calories this morning, and I was over 200. Still under 2000, and I did work out yesterday, so I'll take it and move on.

I'm once again feeling bored with my food. I am going to write out my 'possible' food for the day. I have it all written out, but I'm thinking I may go back through my cookbooks and tweak it. I'm just seeing the same stuff over and over on repeat!

Intake:
-Coffee
-2 c watermelon
-Gazpacho
-Peach/Blueberry/Hemp/Almond Milk smoothie
-Hummus wrap w/ tomato
-Minted zucchini
-Romaine salad with cuke, peppers, reduced fat feta, and creamy cucumber dressing
-3 Brazil nuts

Total as is= 1602

C25K Baby!!!

2010-06-29T08:46:00.002-04:00

I did it. I got off my heiney and started the C25K again. I'm on Week One, Day One and I felt sooo damn good. I was worried about my breathing a bit, but I was downstairs in the cooler air and had no problems. I think the sweat and activity may actually help me move the lung cheese out. I did skip boxing, b/c I thought it would be overdoing it.

But either way, I did it! Go me!

Sorry

2010-06-29T06:48:00.003-04:00

Yes, I'm apologizing. I don't want this blog to turn in to a downer of an experience. It's ok to write about disappointments and feelings and such, I just feel like it's been on the depressing side lately. That said, I am aware and will try to lift it up a little. What can I say? That's been where my head's at recently. I want this blog to help others, and sharing my trials and tribulations can help, but I doubt how I've felt lately could help anyone....So, moving forward.

My lungs seem to feel slightly better this morning. I think. It's a little early, so I can't really tell yet.

I wanna go boxing so much, but I don't think it's smart for a few reasons, one being the lung gak, and two being this oppressive muggy heat. *Sigh*....it better be a go for Saturday, I'll say that much!! Grrrr.

Food. Hmmmm. Let's ponder the edibles. I can already hear my veggie and vegan friends' shocked outcries on this one, but I make no apologies: I picked up some bologna for the boys yesterday. They eat this crap probably twice a year. And make no mistake, I do think of it as crap, ha. But that being said, I bought it for the boys, and yet I had two slices on whole grain bread!!! Aaaaaah! I haven't had it in forever. The taste was 'meh'. I could have lived my life without it. BUT....those extra calories I had left yesterday disappeared as fast as you can say "Oscar Meyer". I can assure you the rest of my food yesterday was angelic, full of veggie and fruit goodness, and raw! So we'll call it a draw:) We all pigged out on ice cold watermelon after dinner last night. So darn good! There's just something about this muggy heat and chowing down on a watermelon:) It makes me smile.

The vanilla hemp protein powder is much better than the dark chocolate. There was a change of plans in yesterday's smoothie. The mango was not looking so good (poor thing), so I replaced it with frozen banana. I always take my overripe bananas and throw them in the freezer. Perfect for smoothies and they don't go to waste. However I discovered that using frozen peaches AND frozen bananas makes for a very very thick smoothie. Me no like. I like to have a slightly runny, straw-friendly smoothie. So in addition to the cup of almond milk, I had to throw in some water to get it all mixed up right. It was about three regular-sized glasses full! I was filled to the gills after that smoothie.

On to the raw carrot ginger soup. The original recipe calls for a 1/2 c of macadamia nuts. A problem on two levels: it also had avocado in it and I didn't care for the fat content, and I didn't have any macadamias. So I left them out and just used the avocado for body and creaminess. The recipe also calls for a large chunk of fresh ginger. I chopped it up and threw it in, but it just didn't blend in well, and when I was eating it I kept having to pick out chunks of ginger. The flavor of the chunks would overpower the whole soup. I think just for texture's sake, next time I'll use powdered ginger. Just my opinion.

The raw tabouli is a favorite, especially on summer days. It's got tons of lightness from all the parsley and mint, and the tomatoes are delish with the dressing of just a little olive oil and lemon juice. I had this after dinner as a snack while watching Lie To Me, and it had been chilling all day.

Oh, and I've rediscovered my inner gamer-chick! It was so hot yesterday that I ran for cover in the air-conditioned office with my boys in tow. Well, I have a game that M got me ages ago that I never played. So I popped that bad boy in and we were off for a good hour and a half. I'm into the fantasy type role-playing-games (RPGs) and this didn't disappoint. It's supposed to be in the 90s here again today. I plan on dodging the heat this way again:)

What I'll be digesting today:

-Coffee a la me
-2 c watermelon
-Minted zucchini (raw)
-Banana/peach/almond milk/vanilla hemp smoothie
-Hummus wrap with tomato and cucumber
-Carrot Ginger soup (raw)
-2 Brazil nuts

Total= 1591, a little short again, but don't worry about me, I'll find a way.....:)

Mostly Rawkin' Today:)

2010-06-28T07:40:00.003-04:00

Yep. A lot of my food is raw today. It's really really hot and muggy here, and the thought of cooking is just gross.

I still have something funky in my lungs. I am ok for a large part of the day, but then there are random times where I feel like I've been holding my breath and am almost gasping for air. Not good. I told M that if it doesn't improve today, I'll visit my friend at the urgent care clinic. I probably need an inhaler or something. All of this is thwarting my efforts to exercise. I am feeling a little panicky already at the whole 'not being able to breath right' thing, and working out would just exacerbate that. So it's on the back burner for now. However, I do know for a fact that one can still lose weight with CR and no exercise. I'm keeping my eyes on the prize!

Ag's inspired me to think about running again. I used the Couch to 5K program with good results. I was never a runner. The only time you'd catch me running is if Godzilla were on the rampage or something. But this program eases you into it. I liked it. I like what she had to say about running clearing the head space. I need that. I've been such a bitch lately. I bet my meds are off. Yep, the crazy meds must not be working...yeah, that's it.

Yesterday was horrible for me mentally. I actually broke down and started crying over CR and exercise. I am just not seeing the results I want as quickly as I want, and I was just overwhelmed with writing everything and counting everything and just being overly consumed/obsessed with it. Like, I don't feel like I'll ever be able to just relax and enjoy food anymore. Food has become almost automatic, a necessary evil. I haven't even been enjoying eating lately. I just shovel it in while on the computer or something, in a fog. I count my calories, get my nutrition, and beyond that food gives nothing. I used to loooove eating. I'm feeling robbed. Poor M didn't know what to do or say, but he hugged me so that was good. We came to the conclusion that we are drinking too much and maybe only drinking every third weekend might help shed some pounds. SO...that's the next tactic. Something's gotta give, right?

So, in protest of unaware automatic eating, I'm actually making a few new recipes today. See if I can't wake up my taste buds a little:) They could sure use it.

Food....Meh.

-coffee a la the usual way
-peach/mango/hemp protein/almond milk smoothie
-2c watermelon
-hummus wrap with grilled zucchini
-Carrot Ginger Soup (from Idiot's Guide to Eating Raw)
-Raw Tabouli (Jennifer Cornbleet's Raw Food Made Easy)
-Minted Zucchini (from Kristen Suzanne's Easy Raw Vegan Sides and Snacks)

All this veggie goodness equals 1523 calories.

I went to one of the health food stores near us yesterday and picked up brazil nuts (holy expensive Batman!!!) and some hemp protein shake mix, vanilla flavor. I didn't care for the dark chocolate variety of this hemp protein, but maybe the vanilla will mix better with my fruit.

Again, the calories are a little low, but I honestly couldn't figure out what else to eat! I was wandering through the kitchen in a daze, looking for stuff....so maybe later the light will come on!

More Veggie Burgers

2010-06-27T07:22:00.002-04:00

Seems like I'm eating a lot of these guys. These Morningstar Farms Grillers Prime. I usually have a different dinner from my family, and these burgers are just easy to throw on the grill next to the regular burgers, or nuke in the microwave when I've made something else for them. I like them a lot.

I got so irrationally pissed at M last night. First of all, let me say he is thin and healthy, no weight problem whatsoever. Well, he eats like a frickin' pig! Last night, I made salmon fillets with sauteed swiss chard with pine nuts and feta cheese on it. Both sauteed in olive oil. Well he ate two fillets and a nice portion of the chard. Then he had ice cream. Then he goes back and has the last fillet of salmon! And he's always finishing what's left on the boys' plates. Oh, and for breakfast yesterday? Two eggs scrambled with bacon and cheese on a flour tortilla! He works out 4 days a week compared to my 5 or 6. I was so annoyed and I told him. His answer? "Well, I guess I just have faster metabolism!" I was really peeved, let me tell you. I sit here and parcel every damn calorie that goes past these lips and lose 1 pound a week when I'm angelic with the diet, which to be honest, I go over around 100-200 calories a few times a week. But still, with CR, that wouldn't cause me to gain! It just makes me not lose. I was having a seriously "why me" moment last night. A pity party. Oh, and I just LOVE when he gives me advice on eating or exercising:) I'm like, "Please." So, that's my random vent for the day, moving on.....

Foodie Goodness:

-coffee (half and half and stevia)
-2 c cantaloupe (always by itself)
-hummus wrap
-peach/mango smoothie (no almond milk today, just water and ice)
-leaf lettuce/tomato/cuke/pepper salad with cucumber dill dressing and 1/4 c reduced fat feta
-1/2 large zucchini, grilled
-veg burger, whole grain bun, ketchup and mustard
-1 rum and coke zero

Total- 1734

I also realized I never told you guys that I do take a multivitamin for nutritional insurance. I can hit around 90-95 of my targets without it some days, but other days not so much. It is just a women's one from GNC. I also take a few other supplements, but I've been really slacking lately, so it hasn't counted. I'll do a post sometime on what I take. I became obsessed with Dr. Amen's Change Your Brain, Change Your Body program, so I went and started taking what he recommended. It's just a lot of pills and my stomach can't handle them unless I've eaten a decent meal. Of course, then you also need to remember to take them, ha.

Lame

2010-06-26T07:28:00.005-04:00

I'm feeling something nasty brewing in my lungs. I have very thick hard-to-cough-up mucous and it's making my throat raw from constantly coughing and clearing my throat. I was wheezing last night and took one of my son's albuterol treatments, which helped some. Therefore, I can't box this morning. It would kick my booty. But I still want to try to get in some of the "Shred" today, I'll just take it a little easier. This sucks. It seems like every time I try to get serious and on track (again), something slows me up. I'm still struggling with the idea of actually going boxing, but I honestly think it would be a mistake. But I'm kinda dopey like that! Breathing is a good thing....

Yesterday we signed the boys up for the library reading club. It was crazy! I've never seen so many people in the library. It was a madhouse. They gave us a little packet with a beach ball, and Jackson also got to have ice cream and make a sand art necklace. Then when we got back home, I realized I forgot to sign myself up! Too funny. It's pretty common to forget about yourself when you're a mom, I suppose. Then Jackson proceeded to sit in the big comfy chair and read every single book we got, even the ones to read to Ivan. He's supposed to get a prize after every 50 pages, and read 200 pages to complete the program, and he's already at around 150. Silly boy.

No late night snacks for this girl last night! Woo hoo! I actually went about 150 over my calories yesterday, which is kinda stinky, but nothing compared to the damage I could normally do, so I'm moving on. My sleep is getting better in fits and starts, not steadily, so I think that's helping some with the eating. It's hard to be asleep and eat:) At least for me it is, I don't know about any of you....

The farm was awesome. In addition to our share, they were offering fresh eggs and local honey. We picked up some of the honey. They are actually looking for someone to work the beehives with them, and M did that a few times with his uncle back in the day. So he gave them his number and now he's all excited for doing the beehive thing. We got all sorts of stuff: lettuce, carrots, onions, parsley, zucchini, swiss chard, garlic scapes, and ummm.....I think that's it.

Food for today:

-coffee w/ half and half and stevia
-2 c cantaloupe
-lettuce, cuke, and pepper salad w/ cucumber dill dressing
-blueberry/mango/almond milk smoothie, with a few leaves of chard thrown in
-1 1/2 c grilled zucchini
-hummus wrap
-raw gazpacho
-2 rum and cokes

Total= 1536

It's on the low side, but I want that little extra wiggle room. I seem to overdo it every other day or so, and this is a new tactic. If I leave some room for those extra calories, maybe it will balance out. Give me some space for the spontaneous-ness of life:)

EDIT- Hey I just looked in my handy dandy spreadsheet o' progress, and even though it seems like I'm going up and down with weight, its showing a five pound loss for the last 4 weeks. So...it may be coming off really really really slooooowly, but it's coming off! Also, in randomness, yesterday was my 100th post! Yay!

Last Day of School

2010-06-25T07:54:00.002-04:00

It's both the boys' last day of school. Summer break! Except for the fact that Ivan goes back for summer school on July 6. Poor kid. We don't have a lot planned other than the summer reading club. I hate the beach, so I usually don't take the kids. But M might, he likes it. And we'll probably do some stuff like the aquarium or maybe run in to the city for a museum or two.

Yesterday's food went well! I actually re-tweaked it to include my rum and cokes. Two of those bad boys. Yum. Used coke zero, so only had to include the calories in the rum. It was so hot, and I put loads of ice in them. I was still below my 1700 for the day. So that's a success in my book. I am trying to stay positive. Those damn pounds WILL come off! They are not welcome here:)

I was supposed to go boxing both Sat and Sun. However...Sunday is Jackson's last game and trophy day at soccer, so I want to be a good supportive mom and be there. So I'll just be going Saturday. Grrr. But I'll make sure I do some kind of exercise. Yesterday I tried to finish the JM30DS, but it was so hot (even downstairs) that I got halfway through and was soaked like I had worked out for an hour. Disgusting! But I did something, so I'm alright with that. Today I think I'll try it again. I know, I know, I'm a glutton for punishment, ha.

Foodie Goodness for today:

-coffee w/ half and half and stevia
-mango/peach/almond milk smoothie
-2 c raw gazpacho
-quesadilla w/ avocado (whole grain tortilla)
-veggie burger w/ whole grain bun and ketchup and mustard

Total- 1513

It's a little low, but I plan on doing some sort of grilled veggie or salad with dinner from our farm pick up today, and I don't know what we're getting yet, so it's TBD:)

Scorcher

2010-06-24T07:46:00.002-04:00

It's supposed to get up to 93F here today. Yep. And as I said a few posts earlier, I just do not function well on any level in high temps like this. I am definitely hanging in the air conditioned office today. I have a computer, tv, and best of all, an XBox 360:) I used to be quite the gamer, but as of the last two years, with school and kids, I haven't played much. It's mostly M and the eldest boy who play. I'm thinking today when the kids are in school is my chance to rediscover this mind-numbing activity!

A friend posted a very angry post on facebook yesterday, but it was sort of ambiguous as to what the heck was going on in her life. I called her to check on her, but she couldn't talk right then. So we made plans to hook up today at her house and she'd explain what was up. The baby will be in school, but Jackson gets home early, so in that space while it's just him and I, we'll go visit. She's got a son who's a few years older than my boy, so they'll play and we'll catch up. But she's studying for a police exam (she's cop in NYC, but applying to move to another state), so I don't want to keep her long.

I am trying to get back on the consistent exercise wagon. I went boxing Tuesday but didn't do anything yesterday. So today I'm going go back to my good ole JM30DS. Level One.....again (or still?). Luckily, my workout room is downstairs so I'll get a little relief from the heat down there. The scale keeps dropping a few, then back up a few....it's getting really tedious, to say the least. But I know why, if I'm truly honest with myself. I do my CR faithfully for probably 4-5 days, then I slack a day or two. It's usually those days when I am in a funk. I had The Epiphany a while ago, and it's made things a little better, but I need to rock the hell out of this if I wanna get somewhere. I have other excuses of course: thyroid problem and meds for that, bipolar meds.....all of that helps me hold on to every little ounce. But I know that if I really get down and do this, it will work, even if it is more slowly than others. So here's to a new day and being as healthy as I can! I will be positive even if I don't feel like it. Fake it til you make it, right?

So, with the heat here today, I wanted to keep the food as light and cool as possible:
-coffee, the usual half and half and stevia
-2 c cantaloupe
-Mango/peach/almond milk smoothie
-2 c raw gazpacho
-pretzels with raw sun-dried tomato pesto from Kristen Suzanne's Raw Entrees cookbook
-Guacamole wrap

Total- 1603, with lots of good fats from the avocado and pesto.

Blah...

2010-06-22T13:55:00.004-04:00

That's how I feel today. Not depressed or in a bad mood, just blah. I'm not gonna even post food today cuz I haven't planned it yet, and I'm feeling lazy. I'm getting to where I can kinda estimate how much I can have, because I eat a lot of the same foods in cycles. So with the current cycle, I kinda know where I'm at.

I boxed today for the first time since the whole hospital debacle. It was so damn hard. I seriously felt like puking a few times. I workout in the mornings, so I don't have breakfast before I work out. I've experimented working out with food versus without, and I feel and perform better without food. It's just me. At least if I did puke, it'd just be coffee:) I told the trainer the situation and that I needed to take it easy. He was very understanding, which, if you know anything about trainers, is unusual! It's about 85 degrees here today, and he had the gall to make us workout outside. I was seriously hating him right about that point. Then we got relief and got to go back inside with the air conditioning. I definitely noticed some weakness. Then he ended class with about 10-15 minutes of hardcore ab work. It sucked. And I'm a grunter and yeller. I'm vocal when something is hard. But, it's all good because I'm an apple and that's where I need the most work:) So I thanked him after class! I reminded myself that I pay for this, ha.

Well, I guess that's it for this post. As rambling as it was, it's what's up in my world:) (Could I possibly have used more smiley faces in this post????)

Hot

2010-06-21T08:16:00.002-04:00

No, not me. The weather. It's muggy and sticky and disgusting. The kind of weather that causes me to not function properly. We don't 'believe' in AC (well, we believe that it exists, ha, we just don't want to use it a lot), so we only have one small unit for the office room. I haven't used it yet this year, I'm trying to hold out. However, I may cave today. Just a wee bit:)

It's the last week of school for the kids. Ivan starts summer school on July 6th or 9th or something. It will be kind of nice for the summer, having time alone with my older boy. He rarely gets time with me alone. Something for us to look forward to. We are both doing the summer reading club at the library this year. He's done it the past three years, and last year was my first time. It's cool and I can't wait til Ivan can do it. Of course, Jackson didn't wanna do it this year, he complained, so I bribed him with a toy at the end of the summer:) Hey, a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do. He's stuck between really taking off with the easier chapter books and still reading the early readers, and I kinda pushed him a little and overwhelmed him I think. So I've taken a step back and let him run the reading show. Even though I know he's capable of the harder books, I don't think he thinks he's ready himself. But he's *this* close!

I had horrible insomnia last night. Don't know why. Just randomness, I guess. However, I did get to see a movie I had never seen before but always wondered about: Rent. It was pretty good. I liked the songs and the story. It was kind of sad. But all "triumph of the spirit"-ey. Then I saw two episodes of Cops. That show is weird. I always feel like I'm eavesdropping on some poor unfortunate soul's worst day ever. I don't think I'd want someone filming my worst day ever.

I'm really itching to get back to boxing. I was supposed to officially start tomorrow, but I have my follow-up appointment with the doctor from the hospital. Sucks. I just wanna box! I feel like it's gonna be just like starting over. Which is really really really unfortunate for me. It's hard as hell. It's been two and a half weeks.

About foodie goodness. We grilled zucchini and peppers on skewers on the grill. I frickin' LOVE that flavor! A little bit of thai marinade on it and it's so damn good! Like, I forgot how yummy grilled zucchini is. I almost sliced it lengthwise, but then I remembered I always have a hard time with that on the grill. So chunky and skewered worked. And I tried a veggie burger I haven't tried before: Morningstar Farms Grillers Prime. I've had various incarnations of this brand, but never this particular one. Pretty tasty. I slapped some blue cheese on it and some ketchup and mustard. Mmmm. I'm also pretty in love with their tomato basil burger. I was, however reading somewhere in blogland about how they process the soy for these bigger brands (if it's not organic) and apparently it's pretty gross and chemical-laden. Maybe Sie will do some of her famous research....hehe. I'm too lazy.

Ok, here's what I'm nom nom nomming today:)

-the usual coffee
-banana/blueberry/almond milk smoothie
-2 c pineapple
-romaine and leftover grilled pepper salad with cucumber dill dressing (again...I know...I'm loving this dressing almost as much as I was loving the lemon tahini dressing...)
-plain yogurt/apple butter/flax seed 'snack'
-2 veggie burgers on whole grain buns with blue cheese and ketchup and mustard
-2 c leftover grilled zucchini:) Yay!

Total Tally=1595

I'm coming into a little extra money, and I just got in touch with my tattoo artist. I'm toying around with maybe....maybe....starting a half sleeve on my right arm! I don't know if I have enough to get it going though. I have lots of ideas: pin ups (I love Bettie Page and that whole retro vibe), something customized for me from Nightmare Before Christmas (I love all things Tim Burton).....decisions, decisions....
I should do a post of my tattoos. I don't know that it would interest anyone, but it would be informative for those wishing to get to know Dawn a little better;) I have 4. The most recent is a pretty big back piece of cascading stars down from the neck to lower mid-back. All in different colors and descending in size. And the most regretted: the stupid Japanese kanji that means 'harmony/peace' on my right bicep. Stupid idea, just got carried away with the trend and thought it was cool. Never do that! I plan on doing a cover over this for the sleeve.

Boy, I had a lot to say today! Have a CRONeriff-i-licious day, peeps!!!

Father's Day!

2010-06-20T07:46:00.003-04:00

It's Father's Day and we are celebrating by grilling. I will call my dad (who lives on the west coast), and Mark will call his (who lives in FL). And Jackson will go to his dad's (we got him a shirt and Jack made him a card and picture). But first, the boys will give Mark his gift and card. We got him a practical gift this year. His old leather flipflops are falling apart, so we got him a new pair. Not exactly the most thrilling gift, but he'll like it. I'm going to buy some veggie burgers today, instead of eating regular beef ones. I ate red meat while in the hospital so it's too soon to loosen up. And I'm going to get whole grain buns. I'm going to do my bestest to make my dinner as healthy as possible!

My calories were a little lower for yesterday than planned. My blender was used for making a dressing, and it had oil in it. Well, I put it in the dishwasher (being too lazy to actually hand wash it), and when it came time for my smoothie, I couldn't use it. So I am estimating (I'll fix it in the program later) I'm down another 150 calories. That's fine with me, especially since I haven't been working out.

Today's plan looks something like this:
-coffee w/ half and half and stevia
-banana blueberry smoothie w/ almond milk
-lettuce and sweet pepper salad w/ cucumber dill dressing
-raw zucchini 'noodles' w/ raw marinara
-2 veggie burgers on 2 whole grain buns w/ ketchup and mustard
-BEER!

Total=1746

I'm a little short on potassium and phosphorus today. And I'm thinking of limiting the drinking of alcohol to 2 days a week. Mark has a 3 day weekend, and we can easily drink 3 or 4 nights a week. It's not that healthy, and it takes calories away from real nutritious food I could be having. Food with, say, potassium and phosphorus in it:) Now that I look at it, I think I'll skip the raw marinara and just grill my zucchini....hmmm. I may edit calorie totals later. Stay tuned!

I have trouble sleeping. I am a terrible insomniac. We've tried a lot of things short of sleeping pills, which I don't want to get into doing at all. I usually wake up twice a night and have a hard time going back to sleep. BUT...I slept great last night. I didn't wake up at all! And, call me crazy, but I think it may have something to do with my epiphany about my weight the other night. Like, it put me psychologically in a better place. I am so happy that my thinking process 'went there'...I have that clarity to guide me when I want to eat more than I should. It's comforting in a way. Like my secret weapon! To have something to actually pinpoint. Cool:)

EDIT- I nixed the beer and added two slices of cheese, and removed the marinara...now at 1623.

McVent

2010-06-19T16:03:00.002-04:00

I gotta pop on here and say.....

Have you all seen that new McDonald's commercial? The one where the mom walks in the door and apologizes to the sitter for being late, then pulls out two Happy Meals from her purse and tells her kids all lovingly, "These are for you!" The kids go all bonkers, then she collapses in a soft comfy chair and the voice-over says something like, "When I've had one of those days, I make it a Happy Meal night." Wha??? Well, in 30 years you can make it a McTripleBypass night. Disgusting.

I remember the first time I gave Jackson McDonald's. I was all militant with how I fed him. I made all his baby food and prided myself on his big reportoire (sp?) of tastes. He'd eat most veggies no problem, and even dabbled in sushi (cooked) at a young age. Well, I'd just moved across the country after splitting w/ my babydaddy, and we were alone. My sister lived just across the street from my little two bedroom apartment. She came by and was going to McD's and wanted to know if I wanted to come. Well, I took Jackson for his first Happy Meal. He was 2 and a half. I remember being so nervous, but seriously, when I saw the look of joy on his face from those damn nuggets and little plastic toy, I was like, "Wow." I even said to my sister, "So this is why people do this???" But I knew it was only a sometime food. I am very strict with my diet, but I have to admit: my kids eat fast food probably 3 or 4 times a year. As a random treat. They love it, but they also know that it's not good for them and they can't eat too much. And I'm cool with that. I want them to always know moderation in all things. If they choose to become more strict with their diets later on, that's great. But I'm not going to push any extreme on them. They are kids and need to live in this society where birthday parties happen and the ice cream man comes around on hot sunny days:)

No Late Night Noshing

2010-06-19T07:13:00.002-04:00

Yep. I even got up at 2 am and went into the kitchen. Then I just grabbed my glass of water and chug-a-lugged half a glass and went back to bed:) Yeah, I know, I pretty much rock! Now to carry this victory to another night....I can do it.

Yesterday's calories had to be adjusted for the 3 beers I had. I just had to cut out a few items, but my numbers still looked great. I accounted for a few more today. It's nice and hot here. Nothing like an ice cold beer when it's hot out. Unfortunately there's also nothing like that beer gut you get from too many:)

My boys are annoying me right now. First, they got up before God, and then were making a bunch of noise. I wanted to crawl under the covers. Now they are just bouncing off the walls. It's gonna be one of those days, I think. I just have to chill out and not let them get to me. Easier said than done some days.

Mark and I had a weird/good talk last night. It's kinda personal, but I think I wanna share in the interest of helping others maybe....we've been not so close since my little one was born. I know the reason but never explained it to him. Well, last night I did. He doesn't realize that I don't feel super sexy or pretty anymore. I have gained about 30 pounds since Ivan was born, and I have really really big ugly scars all over my abdomen, from hip to hip, and a large one on my rear. I got the scars after I had Ivan and got those infections. Now, once I got to thinking about it, I think the reason I am having a hard time losing the weight is because maybe deep down I like it and don't want to lose it because it gives me a cushion against things. Like being overweight will keep Mark away from me and I won't have to deal with feeling weird about my scars. I never thought I'd do something like that, but it makes sense to me. I guess I just had an epiphany last night! I'm just feeling unattractive, so I'm keeping my outside matching my inside. I don't think he really knew what to say, other than he accepts me the way I am now. But still. I don't believe it. Maybe the scars, but my flabby gut??? It didn't look like that before. And I don't want him looking at it ever.....Boy I got issues!!! *sigh* Excuse the random psychological evaluation....

So my food today is delicious and CRON-eriffic:
-coffee, half and half, and stevia
-banana/blueberry smoothie with almond milk
-lettuce/cucumber/tomato salad with cucumber dill dressing
-zucchini pasta with raw marinara
-2 c watermelon
-2 c pineapple
-raw tabouli (no bulghur)
-BEER!!!

Total=1615

CRON-o-meter Baby!!!

2010-06-18T08:32:00.003-04:00

I've plugged all my stuff into the good ole CRON-o-meter today for the first time in a while. It was actually hard to think of things to eat after a while. I thought I had it in the bag, then I looked and the calories were only 977! Sheesh...back to the drawing board.

I'm itching to get back to boxing. But I've been banned til next Tuesday. The fiance isn't 'allowing' me to go this weekend, even though I totally could:) I think I've even coerced a friend to come check it out. We used to do karate together, which was really expensive (I actually taught the little guys), so neither of us go anymore. Times are tough, money-wise. But boxing is cheap. And tough. Like me- ha!

I'm detoxifying. I think. I hope. I've gotten good fruits and veggies in this recuperating body of mine. I'm feeling better. The first few days home all I wanted to do was lay on the couch and sleep. But my energy's coming along now.

The farm pick up is today! The highlight of my day. Can't wait. We got a bunch of radishes last week, and no one besides me likes them. Well, last night I cooked them like home fries and they were sooo good! Everyone gobbled them up. That's one of the things I love about our CSA. The kids come along, choose which particular lettuce we get, weigh out the salad mix, and pick out the bunch of radishes we take home. Then it's fun to try to come up with different ways of eating the things we bring home. I really like that they are learning about where food comes from and the idea of eating local, organic food. It makes me a happy mommy:)

So food for the day looks like this:

-Coffee with stevia and half and half
-Smoothie w/ banana, blueberries, and almond milk
-Red leaf lettuce salad w/ tomatoes, cucumber, and homemade raw cucumber dill dressing
-Guacamole wrap (whole wheat wrap, avocado, salsa)
-2 c watermelon
-Raw tabouli (no bulgur wheat)
-Granny smith apple
-Zucchini 'pasta' with raw marinara
-Juice o' the day:carrot, apple, celery, little kale, lemon juice, and ginger

So that's the dealio with me: how are things for you?

EDIT: Total Calories for today= 1692

I'm Off!

2010-06-16T06:58:00.002-04:00

I can't really say that, because I'm still technically taking it easy, but it feels good to be on my own now. Mark's back at work and things are getting back to normal. I've got big plans today:) Not really, just doing the grocery shopping that I wasn't up for yesterday. I did a lot of laundry yesterday, because that isn't really a chore that requires a lot from you, ya know? Just go down some stairs, throw some clothes around, and then back up the stairs and relax til the buzzer goes off. Nice and slow and easy. I was chomping at the bit yesterday, but my family all harassed me and my facebook friends harassed me....so I did something I never do: I listened! I took it easy peasy lemon squeezy. I'm glad I did though.

My booboo is really itchy now. I know that's a good thing! Itchy means healing. Unfortunately, itchy also means "drive-me-crazy". Seriously. I want to scratch the hell out of it, but I'm sticking to the very edges. And it doesn't look too good, scratching your butt all the time. People start wondering about you. Really.

So I went through my raw cookbooks and picked out about 8 recipes. I'm looking forward to getting going. Yesterday was good, but could have been better. I didn't count any calories (I'll start today), but I had a nice beet juice thingy, a big salad with avocado and a homemade carrot ginger dressing (raw), and then I couldn't come up with something veggie-like and super healthy to make for dinner...so after checking the fridge and the cabinets like a gazillion times, I caved and made a grilled cheese. Granted, it was whole grain bread, but I used butter and regular cheese! *GASP* Oh no she didn't!!! Oh yes she did:)

I've been very slightly toying with the idea of giving up dairy. The thought of never having cheese again is really horrifying though, and the only thing holding me back. I don't really drink milk. I like yogurt and cottage cheese, but I could live without them, and they do have some good soy yogurts. But the cheese is what kills me. I frickin' love love love me some cheese. Although, I have made some raw vegan cheeses and they were good, but nothing to write home about. They say that your tastes change and you learn to like these flavors, but I have a hard time believing that I could ever love raw vegan cheese the way I love regular cheese. I'm just full of cheesy luv. But Kristen at Kristen's Raw had a post recently linking to an article about the horrible abuse of dairy cows. It was really sad to me. I certainly don't want to support that. Baby steps, I think. Baby steps.

Home

2010-06-15T10:50:00.002-04:00

I'm home. I got here late afternoon yesterday. But get this....I have been having a little pain on my left side. The side I was laying on constantly because the booboo is on my right side. Well, I thought it was just some muscle cramping/straining from laying on that side all the time. So I got home and decided to check it out in the mirror. There are two red hard spots on that side!!! Just like how the other infection started, only on a much smaller scale. I'm thinking the lymph or something drained downward and caused it. I'm on very strong antibiotics for ten more days. I'm going to watch it very closely and monitor my temp every day. Mark and I are scared. What the hell could be happening in my body???? My bloodwork is coming back fine. I need to find someone who will dig in and find what is going on.

I'm feeling very worn out today. All I want to do is lay on the couch and sleep. Well, I don't actually want to do that, I want to be up and about, doing laundry and mommy-type activities. But everyone is telling me to take it easy, so I'm trying my best to listen. It's hard when you've been lying in a bed rotting for almost a week! The last thing I want to be doing on this gorgeous sunshiny day is lay down.

I'm drinking tons of filtered water. I'm looking through my raw cookbooks and getting some ideas and building a grocery list. Juicing is on the menu as well. I think this is really a time to get a handle on nutrition and give my fragile system the very best. It can only help, right?

Well, that's the latest and the greatest over in my little world. How about you?

The LIght At the End of the Tunnel

2010-06-13T15:58:00.002-04:00

It's looking like I'm going to be discharged tomorrow!! Woo-hoo!

The incision and drainage hurt like hell. I mean, like the worst pain in my life. And that was just the numbing part! The rest I didn't feel. So now, I'm not running a temp since I've been soaked in IV antibiotics for 5 days or so. It feels better, still some pain, but nothing like it was before.

So anyways, I'm hoping to get back on track once I get home. I need to find out when I can start exercising again. But the food is completely under my control. I think I may try to detox at home. I had IV contrast for the CAT scan of my abdomen, and I've been sucking down pain meds a lot. So I am going to go for a vegetarian, possibly high-raw diet for a week or so. I actually have a book by Elson Haas on detoxing, and I've done it a few times with pretty decent results. I find I get a horrible headache and need to lay on the couch for a day or two. But then my head clears and I feel better.

I've discovered that Mark and I are psychologically/emotionally attached at the hip. We must have spoken on our cellys every two hours:) He was particularly suffering. He kept saying how much it sucked not having me at home yelling at him or bossing him around and how much he missed me. It was touching, but kind of disturbing how interdependent we are on each other! But he was also doing all the mommy work, and that is tough for any amateur, I believe. He's not a very good multi-tasker, a fundamental skill of mommyhood. But he's a great provider, taking on the cruel outside world to bring home the bacon each week:) We complement each other nicely. We each have what the other lacks. It's awesome!

Jersey Shore

2010-06-11T08:43:00.004-04:00

I'm indulging in all those trashy VH1 shows that I used to love when we had cable. Where am I doing this, you may ask? Well, I'm currently in a private room on the 12th floor of Stonybrook University Medical Center:) Yep. My fever came back with a vengeance Wednesday, so we packed up the baby, drove Jackson to his father's, and Mark drove me to the ER of Stonybrook. This is a far better hospital than the one I went to before, I just went there because it's so close to my house.

I'm currently on IV antibiotics and major pain meds. I mean, they take me out. Mark can be visiting and I'm nodding out like a junkie. It sucks. I hate feeling so fuzzy and 'not there'. And so far, I have no idea what plan B is. I'm having serious flashbacks. I'm terrified. I know my body and it loves an infection and will do anything to hang on to it. Last time I was here the fever got up to 105! Everyone was scared. They had to put an electric cooling blanket on me. I'm just picturing more surgery to excise the infected tissue. It's been three days now, and the area is not looking any better. It's even gotten a little more red.

So, here I sit, watching bad tv, eating bad food, and sleeping. That's pretty much the extent of it. I have had no appetite. Food looks really good to me and I want to eat it, but I get one or two bites in me, and it loses its appeal. Which, in terms of healing, is not a good thing. They want me having my fruits and veggies and especially protein. I'm drinking tons of water and diet ginger ale, though. This place is scary for me as far as food/weight goes. This is where I put on about 25 pounds when I spent two months here. I was very lonely, depressed, bored, and bedridden, so eating was one thing that brought pleasure. It was one of the only things to do besides watch tv, and that gets old after a while. At least this time I have my trusty laptop so I can reach out and be social-like:)

I just wanted to update and let everyone (ok, my 9 followers, lol) know what is going on over in my section of the world. Any advice on any topic would be greatly appreciated, and I love reading your comments!

Side-lined

2010-06-09T07:10:00.002-04:00

Yep. I've officially been put on the disabled list. It all started when I fell on my stairs here at home on Memorial Day weekend. My socks were all stretched out and loose on my feet, and I just hit the step wrong and my foot slid in the sock and down I went. Hard. I bruise very easily and was not surprised by the 6"x4" bruise on my right cheek. And I don't mean the cheek on my face:) It was huge! Well, fast forward to yesterday. The area was increasingly painful, affecting how I sat and drove and moved. At one point, my little Ivan came up behind me and playfully swatted my rear and brought me to tears it was so painful. Then I felt lethargic and hot, so I took my temp and there it was, 99.6F. Not much, but my history with infection causes me to spook with any fever. Back when I came home from the hospital after my emergency c-section, the site looked great, I felt fine, but started running a low-grade fever. That was the only symptom. And that ended up a nightmare of surgeries and a combined total of two months in isolation at the hospital. SO....with my temp eventually up to 101.4F in a short period of time, I drove myself in to the ER. Mark wanted to come with me, but it was already 7pm, and Ivan's bedtime is 8, so I didn't want to put him through that just so I could have company.

I waited for 2 hours in the stupid waiting room. Luckily I brought my Nintendo DS (pink of course). Played some Final Fantasy. The doctor checked it out and diagnosed it as cellulitis, an infection under the skin. So I was given one major dose of oral antibiotics and sent home with antibiotics and pain meds. I also had to go to the drugstore and pick up something called ichthammal salve, it's a drawing salve to pull the pus or fluid to the surface. Gross. I know. I have to put a hot compress on it for 20 minutes, then put the salve on a gauze pad and tape it to my ass for 6 hours, then wash, rinse, and repeat. I also have to see my doctor for a follow up today. Why it has to be today, I don't know. I would think I could wait a few days. The doc also said that sometimes you may need to be hospitalized and have it taken care of via IV antibiotics and maybe a minor 'procedure'. Ugh. I'm just thinking, great, with my history, this could suck big-time. But I'm trying to stay positive.

I have no plan for food yet today, and I don't know that I'll do it. I just feel all ookey from being up all night from sleeping poorly and just not feeling hungry from these hardcore pain meds.

So send me your bestest fast-healing, feel-good vibes today!!! I need 'em:)

Rest Day, Thank God

2010-06-07T05:52:00.002-04:00

Today is my rest day for the week. I asked DF (dear fiance) what I should do. First, he had to pick his jaw up off the floor, as I rarely ask for his advice on how to do something:) Then, he told me to rest today since I was so sore from boxing and will be going again tomorrow. So I'll be working out Wednesday. Probably good ol' JM 30DS (Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred). I tell ya, since I have been boxing, working out at home has been so darn boring! But, alas, I have only two options here: Either go boxing 6 days a week, which will be difficult although not impossible, or supplement my exercise at home *yawn*. I could do more boxing, but there are two days with a certain trainer who I've heard is really old-school and does things that could potentially injure you. He's an older man, and my friend went to college for fitness, and she told me he does some dangerous stuff. So DF wants me nowhere near that class.

I must say, I will thoroughly enjoy my day of rest. I am so sore. My biceps are screaming. We did so much ab work. Yesterday I bent over in the bathroom to put a tissue in the wastebasket, and my lower abs felt like they were cramping up. That's how sore I am. I can't even bend over! It's very funny, and good in a "I-worked-my-ass-off" way, but seriously, I couldn't take more than a day or two of this.

Chow details:
-Avocado wrap (some avo and veggies in a wrap)
-Salad (red leaf lettuce, cucumber, homemade dressing)
-Cheese Pasties (from a Moosewood cookbook, cheese and veggies in a crust like a turnover), only one since they're high in fat even with low fat cheese
-1 c pineapple
-1 c frozen wild blueberries
-1 c organic "farmy" strawberries
-Yogurt, apple butter, flax "snack"
-2 glasses red wine

Total= 1656, and a lot of those calories are from fat today, in the avocado, dressing, and cheese pasties....oh well, the calories are on so I'll take it. But I may try to even it out for the week, and see if I can do a few lower fat days.

Feelin' Groovy....

2010-06-06T11:50:00.002-04:00

Feeling good today. Can't explain it. Just a good day.

I went boxing again this morning. I didn't want to go. I'm still so damn sore from yesterday! However, I was following my "just show up" policy, and I'm really glad I did. It was a new trainer for me. The other trainer was on vacation. Tough stuff. Lots and lots of heavy bag work, and I'm going to guess at least 6 or 7 minutes straight of ab work. But that's the area that I need to work on the most. The fiance and I were discussing how I'm pretty much the epitome of apple-shaped. In fact, I don't know if I blogged about this or not, but the woman across the street asked in her broken English, "Baby coming??" I just laughed and said, "No. Just fat." I thought that was just awful. We all know that unless a woman tells you she's preggers, you DO NOT ASK!! It was really awkward. And depressing.....I carry every single extra pound of fat right in my upper abs, so it really does look like I'm expecting. But this is my shape, and I deal with it. I refuse to be one of those women who complains about this body part or that lump. I'm not happy with this body right now, but I don't hate on it. It's given me two babies and is very strong. And it will change. I have to keep the faith and keep on keepin' on.

I haven't discussed weight lately and that's for a reason. The scale hasn't budged. But I know that if I just keep up doing the best CRON I can and kick up the exercise, it will move eventually. I must admit though, it is tough to keep my chin up sometimes. Sometimes I wanna just say, "Screw it, nothing's happening anyway, might as well scarf down some pizza." But I don't, usually. I say usually cuz I'm not perfect, nor do I know anyone who is:) I also suspect that I may be gaining muscle as I lose fat, because I can see that my stomach is down a little. I do tend towards being very strong, even if I don't look "cut". That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Anyways, the food for the day looks like this:
-hummus wrap
-romaine with feta, cucumber and homemade dressing
-turkey sausages on the grill....mmmm
-spinach....haven't figure out how yet, but something with minimal fat
-pineapple
-strawberries (from the farm!!)
-yogurt, apple butter, flax seed "snack"
-2 c watermelon
-Iced green tea with stevia...did I mention it's supposed to be 85 degrees today?
-coffee with half and half and stevia

Total so far: 1486

Edit

2010-06-05T13:58:00.002-04:00

Update: I found stevia at the local grocery! So that will bring my calories down a little, which is good, cuz I'm super extra hungry today for some reason. AND...I'm having those rum and cokes with coke Zero, so no extra sugar or calories there either. Ha! I can do this. I see a hummus wrap in my very near future....

Oh Love!!!

2010-06-05T07:02:00.002-04:00

As in, OMG shrimp tacos are the bomb diggety! We all inhaled them. They were so fresh and light and yummy. I could see this becoming a habit! They were super quick and easy, the hardest and most time-consuming part was making the pico de gallo and guacamole. Everything came together very fast. And they're pretty CRON-friendly, for a taco.

We hit the farm yesterday. I was obsessed. I was counting down the hours til pick up time. Then, we were waiting for Jackson (older son) to finish his homework, and man, he was takin' forevah! He didn't want to go, so I suspect he was stalling. So we go there, and it is a new greenhouse where we pick up because a few months ago the red barn that was used burned down. And the woman taking payment and in charge of everything had a little girl that was a little younger than Ivan. Her name was Ramona (how cute). Well, they were checking each other out and smiling and being little flirts. He even said in his cute little 3 yr old voice, "Bye bye Wamona!" Anyway, I let Jackson help me with picking the produce. We got a head of red leaf lettuce, spinach, turnips, pea shoots, strawberries, and a couple of garlic scapes. These are the baby garlic I think. They look like a curly scallion kind of. They have a very mild garlic flavor, and I'm actually using them in tonight's dinner, veggie stir-fry over brown rice. Can I just say the farm is the highlight of my week during the season?! How sad is that....*sigh*....

Foodie Goodness:
-Coffee w/ sugar and half and half
-Green tea w/ little sugar (straight up if I can take it)
-Banana/Blueberry smoothie
-Salad w/ red leaf lettuce, cucumber, feta, and homemade dressing (italian type)
-3 cups stir fry veggies, 3 TB teriyaki sauce, 1 c brown rice
-1 c pineapple, 1 c strawberries, 1 c plain organic yogurt blended up into a lovely smoothie
-The guilty pleasure on this smoldering hot day.....2 Rum and Cokes:) (Hey, I added them in!)

Total= 1693

I'm boxing this morning too. I'm looking forward to it, since I pretty much missed last week due to Ivan's presurgical stuff and subsequent surgery. Boxing makes me realize how out of shape I am. I push myself so hard there though. Nothing like going through the motions at home. I'm one of the heaviest girls there, and on the lower end of the stamina/fitness spectrum. I just know that if I just keep showing up, even when I don't 'feel' like it, I'll reap the benefits. But I usually feel like it:)

There is a "Wild Mustang Day" at the local ecology center today. We're thinking of taking the boys. They have baby mustangs and are going to learn why they are disappearing, and they'll do face-painting and stuff. All for free! But that's if we can actually make ourselves get out the door. We're all pretty much homebodies, and all of us going somewhere is a feat of epic proportions. Stay tuned.....

Too Young

2010-06-04T09:58:00.002-04:00

I just got some sad news last night. Friends that lived near my ex's house (where I used to live), lost their 19 yr old daughter in a motorcycle accident. They had two girls, and this was the older daughter. She apparently was newly engaged and had just found out she was pregnant. Her fiance was trying to outrun police and lost control of the motorcycle with her on it. I'm still shocked. I can't stop thinking about it. I remember her and her mother coming to see Jackson when he was first brought home from the hospital. She even babysat for us a few times. We always chitchatted with the parents at the bus stop too. It got me thinking about something happening to my boys. You just never know, you know? And that poor younger sister now has to live as an only child after growing up with her sister her whole life. Just so much to take in. I just keep thinking about all these "what if" scenarios in my head. Her fiance survived. Now he has to live with the fact that he killed his bride and unborn child.

So I've been a little distracted this morning and haven't yet worked out my food for the day. I should have done it last night like I usually do, but I wasn't in the mood.

Yesterday was my older son's field day at school. I could only watch the first half, since we had to get back home to put the baby on the bus. Soooo cute. They did all these different stations and had to do various physical activities like crabwalking and freeze tag. He told me the night before that he really wanted me to go (I wasn't planning on going). So I HAD to. How could I deny him? Especially since he lost that tooth and now has that goofy little kid smile that makes me wanna smother him with luvin':) But I digress.....

Today is also the first pick up for the CSA!!!! I am so excited, I can't stand myself. We are all going as a family after school and will be picking the pick-your-own stuff (strawberries, chives, and mint) as well as our regular share. The website says we'll be getting head lettuce, spring mix, some harukei (sp??) turnips, radishes, peas (I think)....yum yum yum....nom nom nommy goodness! I think there's more but I forgot.

I do know what I'm making for dinner tonight. My first attempt at shrimp tacos!! I even made homemade pico de gallo and guacamole:) And I'm sure we'll have a fresh salad made from our organic local lettuce from the farm! Looking forward to it, as is the rest of my family.

He's Fixed!

2010-06-03T06:53:00.003-04:00

My little one's surgery was Tuesday morning. As in, the first surgery of the day at a hospital an hour away so we had to get up at 4:30 in the morning!! Ahhhh! But it all went very well. He was only in the operating room for about an hour. First, though, you get to go in while they put them out with the anesthesia (if you want to/can handle it). This is the hardest part for me (unfortunately I've done it a few times). You lay them down on the table. There's the team of surgeons and nurses and such all around with their masks on. You hold his hand and look into his eyes and tell him everything's alright and that you're there so he doesn't start freaking out. Sometimes they even sing a little song to them, like Eensy Weensy Spider. Then they put the little mask over his face and tell him to breath. Then he does, and he starts looking a little spacey. Then the worst part is when his eyes start to close. It honestly looks like he's dying. It's really creepy and you have to be strong not to flip out yourself. I was fine, I've done it. But there was a woman who came out into the waiting area who I assume had just done it, and she lost it. I felt bad for her.

So when I got to recovery he was still asleep. But he started to wake up a little later, and he was soooo good. He didn't cry or anything. There were kids all over the place screaming and crying but not my little man. Then once he was good and awake and holding down apple juice, we got sent up to our room. Then we just vegged and watched a LOT of Nick Jr. He's pulled out IVs before, but he left this one alone, thank goodness. He also had a drain pinned to his gown. Which he also left alone, surprisingly! He gradually started to eat soft stuff like yogurt, but they kept giving him stuff that he doesn't like, like these disgusting fruit cup/parfait gel things that I would never feed my kids, and jello. He was really hungry and kept telling me he was, but they wouldn't let me give him anything else! I was getting irritated. I mean, when I had surgery, they just wait a few hours to make sure you're tolerating the clear/soft stuff, then you can chow down. But I guess since the surgery was on his neck (to close his trach hole), they were concerned with irritation. Well, I started sneaking him some of the stuff I brought just in case. Some whole grain cheesy goldfish, a chocolate pudding, and an orange. He did fine and was very happy! We spent the night, him in blissful sleep in his very own crib, and me on the hard-as-a-rock chair with a leg piece thingy. My back was hurting the next day. We were discharged at about 8:30 yesterday morning. All is well. He doesn't even bother with it. He's got a bunch of steristrips covering the site.

So, onto the diet. Yes. What we are all waiting to hear about. Well....you see.....I haven't counted calories in a while. I kinda lost the flow over the Memorial Day weekend, we were grilling and drinking too much. Then Ivan had the surgery and I had to deal with cafeteria food and just quickly grabbing things when he was asleep. Sure, they offered fresh fruit, yogurt, and salads...but did I eat any of that??? Naaaah. But the scale has not suffered. I feel a little sluggish and bloated, but no worse for the wear. I've started afresh today. And here's the plan:

-Blueberry banana smoothie
-Romaine with tahini dressing
-Borscht w/ a dollop of plain yogurt
-Juice: romaine, apple, carrot, ginger, and lemon
-Green smoothie: apple, banana, spinach
-Pineapple
-3 c frozen stir fry veggies
-1 c brown rice
-1/4 c teriyaki sauce
-2 large eggs
-1 slice american cheese
-1/4 c salsa

TOTAL: 1608

Well, that's the scoop! On to my hectic day with my older son's field day at school:) Oh, and he lost a front tooth while I was gone. He looks sooooo adorable I just wanna kiss and hug him all the time. He won't let me though. Oh well.

Who Ate Last Night???

2010-05-27T06:50:00.002-04:00

Not me! I didn't have anything last night:)

It was very hot and humid here yesterday. My fiance took the day off to take Ivan to the doc, so he was home, and we had a good time, playing with the kids and listening to music. The kids love love love The White Stripes. I think because it's very simple beats and melodic. But I have the laptop on shuffle, and every time a White Stripes song would come on, they'd start rocking out. That, and my older boy also loves System of a Down (mom's favorite!).

Food went well, although I pre-made a salad and put it in the fridge, so it would be easy to grab when I was hungry, and I didn't end up eating it. It's all shriveled and sad-looking this morning. I hate wasting food. At least it can go in the compost. I was trying to outsmart myself, because I know how I operate (well, I'm learning), and if hunger strikes, I want something quick, and I know I won't take the time to chop and make a salad or something healthy. I'm going to try this method again today, only I will have to remember to actually eat what I make!

Yesterday was a rest day as far as working out goes, and I felt like I wanted to do something all day. I was like a slug. But I know rest days are important. My Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred is on the menu for the next two days. Now that I'm hooked on boxing, the Shred seems sooo tedious. But I will rip through it today and tomorrow, til I can get to the good stuff!

Food For The Day:
-Coffee w/ half and half and sugar
-green tea w/ sugar (gotta get to the health food store and get some stevia!)
-Juicy Goodness: apple, carrot, kale, ginger, and lemon
-Hummus wrap....they didn't have sprouts at the store yesterday:(
-Romaine, tomato, mushroom, cucumber salad w/ thai chili dressing
-Yogurt, apple butter, flax "snack"
-1/2 avocado...mmmmm
-Grilled cheese on whole grain bread grilled dry (no butter)

Tally: 1607

I'm looking at it now, and I think I'll add some fresh fruit. I got some pears, peaches, berries, and of course, my pineapple (I looooove fresh pineapple). So I'm sure I can hit my 1700 mark with that.

Also on the menu for the day- Laundry. O the chills and thrills of SAHM-itude.

Good Morning

2010-05-26T05:45:00.002-04:00

Hey Good Morning! The sun is shining, the birds are singing.....*sigh* :)

Ok, enough of that. I ate a little last night. But I mean, very little. Like a cup of pasta with a little tomato sauce on it. Not entirely angelic on my part, but trust me when I say this was a success! It didn't even wreck my calories for the day since I hadn't eaten everything on my list. Which could be why I was hungry in the first place, right? AND...it was fairly early. Like not in the wee hours of the night.

Boxing: Killer workout. I love it so much. It's going to become an addiction, I swear. A really weird thing happened though, that's never ever happened. I mean, I used to do karate (I even taught it) and we worked HARD. But this never happened. At a few points during the workout I felt like I wanted to throw up (well, that's happened before) and then I also felt like I was going to break down and cry. Weirdness. I don't know if I have something going on underneath the surface, or I was just giving it my all (which I totally was). I was a little frustrated because I pretty much sucked at a few of the exercises. As in I would do two or three reps then have to stop for a second or two (no longer than that, I wanna keep my heartrate up). It was really surreal feeling like I was gonna have an emotional breakdown. It reminded me of the show Biggest Loser when they push them so hard they have to push through their personal barriers of whatever's holding them back. BTW, did you see the finale???? Wowzers. Back to boxing: All I know is I felt great after, when I was like a chubby, sweaty, limp little rag that couldn't possibly give any more than I did. And I almost talked myself out of going! I was giving all these lame-ass excuses in my head.....I told myself to shut up.

On to the yummies....Sie is eating hummus wraps, and I used to love those, so I'm having one today. I'll be thinking of her whilst munching today! I need a little mix up in food variety here. I'm going shopping today, so I can make it happen.

-banana/blueberry smoothie (I sometimes use almond milk for this, but lately just water)
-pineapple
-spinach, cucumber, and onion salad with lemon tahini dressing
-hummus wrap (whole grain wrap/tortilla thingy, homemade hummus, sprouts, cucumber, and tomato)
-juice o' the day: apple, kale, carrot, celery, ginger, and lemon
-1 serving Cannellini w/ Garlic and Sage....this is an awesome slow cooker recipe from a vegetarian slow cooker book I have. It's super duper simple with only a few ingredients, but my whole family loves it. If you want the recipe I can post about both the book and the recipe.....
-1 slice (no really, only 1 slice) sourdough bread for dunkin' in my beans!!!

Total Tally= 1627

Today is my rest day. No exercise for me. I'm tempted to go to the gym, there's a female trainer doing a Mixed Martial Arts session today. I haven't met her yet and I'm curious. BUT...it's rest day, and I need one day a week off.

In other non-food-related stuff: My little one, Ivan, is having a surgery on the first of June. He had a tracheostomy (a hole to breath through in the neck) when he was a baby, and he's since lost the trach, but the hole never closed up all the way. He's going to have it all closed up, and he has presurgical testing at the hospital today. Daddy's taking him, since I'll be staying overnight for the surgery. We are all excited. He'll look like a normal little boy! Sometimes people stare at him a little once they notice a hole in his neck. Or maybe I just think they're staring....
I also attended a meeting at his school with his "team" of therapists and his teacher. They are recommending summer school for him. The concern is that although he's coming along nicely, they don't want him to regress over the summer and lose any of the skills he's worked so hard on. I'm glad. I only want the best for my Ivan! All the therapists are in love with him, though. They were saying how charming and smart he is and the cute little things he does to avoid having to do the hard stuff. I was a proud mama:)

Well, I apparently had a lot to say today. Hope you enjoyed this special extra-long edition of my blog!

Juice

2010-05-25T05:36:00.003-04:00

I'm adding some fresh juice to the menu today. I used to juice a lot, but now only a few times a week. I have the Omega Vert slow juicer. Love that thing, and I highly recommend it. It is really quiet and powerful.

Boxing today too. I am still a little sore. I hope I'm not sore very soon:)

I struggled last night again. It seems the lights go out, the tv goes on, the family goes to sleep, and I go to the kitchen. Ahhhhh. As I've said many times, I'm a work in progress, I don't expect perfection. But still. Enough already.....It's getting old. I'm trying to save some fruit or something for the night.

Onto the good stuff. I noticed I was eating a lot of the same stuff every day. Well, for me, it's safe. I know I get the nutrition and it doesn't take much thought. Right now, it's working, but I know I will have to switch it up occasionally. Like today, I'm adding almonds. Mmmmm.

-Pineapple
-Melon
-Salad w/ sweet thai chili dressing
-Broccoli, brown rice, and tamari
-Juice concoction: apple, romaine, celery, ginger, and lemon
-Yogurt, apple butter, flax seeds
-Coffee w/ half and half and sugar
-23 Almonds
-Green tea and water

Total: 1643

I think I'll save the melon for snacky tonight. It's light and it should only be eaten by itself so it doesn't slow digestion of other foods and ferment.

Week 2, Day One

2010-05-24T05:27:00.002-04:00

I'm sitting here at my dining room table waiting for the coffee pot to finish. Nobody else is up yet. It's quiet now. I like to get my action plan in place and set the tone for the day before the craziness starts.

Yesterday was overkill on the calories again. Sie said that she notices when she has harder workouts that she tends to eat more. I think that may have had something to do with it. That and the 'weekend attitude'. I will make next weekend more successful. Moving on....

Yesterday's boxing was so much fun. This trainer gives us more actual boxing and helps with technique, while Saturday's trainer is much more into the interval training and trying to kill us:) Thank god there were no more burpees yesterday, or as a reader called them, vomitees. We did the usual laps, squats, jumping jacks, footwork drills, boxing combos on the bag, jumprope, pushups, and I actually got in the ring and sparred a little with another classmate! It was fun. Nothing too hard, just soft hits, but I kept getting her left shoulder/face because she would drop it every time she went to punch me. It was very obvious, and I told her what she was doing. I am a righty in life, but I box lefty, which confuses the people who box me. It changes how you move around me. I've been told it's an advantage.

Anyway, after boxing, we all (fiance, little one, and moi, no older boy as he was with his dad) went to BJ's, which is another warehouse club store like Costco or Sam's Club. It was nice to get out together, even if it was just a mundane shopping trip. Then when we got back, I took the world's hottest shower to try to relax my sore muscles, and it really worked. I stretched in there, and when I got out I felt a lot looser. It was great.

Today is my day 5 of the Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. I'm thinking maybe at the end of this week, I can try adding level 2. Maybe.

Foodie Goodness-

-blueberry banana smoothie
-yogurt, apple butter, flax
-coffee with half and half and sugar
-loads o' green tea and water
-2 eggs w/ salsa
-romaine, cuke, and tomato salad
-tahini lemon dressing
-1 c pineapple
-1 c athena melon
-grilled cheese (2 whole wheat bread, 2 slices american, little onion, grilled dry)

Total Tally-1527
Low, but I'm sure I'll come up with something to nosh on to make up for it. I'm noticing I eat a LOT of fruit. In the coming weeks I'm hoping to transition to more veggies. I like the fruit, but I'm eating a large proportion.

So what's your plan?

Food for the Day

2010-05-23T07:05:00.002-04:00

-Romaine, tomato, and cuke salad
-Lemon Tahini Dressing
-1 c melon
-Borscht
-Broccoli salad (broccoli, soy sauce, rice vinegar, sesame seeds, ginger)
-Yogurt, apple butter, flax
-Potatoes in Red Curry Sauce
-1 c brown rice
-Coffee with half and half and sugar
-Green tea
-Water

Total- 1710 AND I'M STICKING TO IT!

2529

2010-05-23T05:54:00.004-04:00

Confession time. 2529. That's how many calories I ate yesterday. Well, yesterday and last night. Last frickin' night. It got to me. I was cruisin' along, had my food all logged into the CRON-o-meter, and then at dinner and about 12:30, I caved. I gave in to the baked ziti I made. I was only allotted one portion, and I had another helping when I woke up at 12:30 and couldn't get back to sleep. I also had two pieces of garlic bread with dinner that were not part of the plan. And two beers. That pushed me to almost 1000 calories over goal. I am just now attempting to sort out what exactly happened. I mean, I went boxing, I logged and wrote everything down, then I just threw it all out the window by scarfing down some stupid baked pasta and cheese dish.

I think maybe I've been feeling a little deprived and I'm annoyed by feeling this way. Why can't I just eat like everyone else? Why? My brain knows the answers to this, but my heart/emotions struggle with feelings sometimes. I am determined to not beat myself up over this, hey at least I got in a killer workout which will offset some of those calories. And making myself feel like a failure over food will just spiral. Like giving me a "f*** it" attitude, and that's not where I want to be, and would be dangerous to my progress. So back on that horse, lady. And quit yer belly-achin'! :)

Lesson learned: I don't think I will be making anymore pasta and cheese dishes. It's too close to pizza, a big trigger food for me. I need to stick to making things that a) I can stay away from if it's not on plan but made for my family or b)healthy and on plan for me. Preferably I can make more things that are for the whole family including me, but I understand that they are not where I am nutritionally, so I don't inflict the whole way of life on them. They are eating healthier, but definitely eat some things I don't/can't. None of them are overweight or unhealthy. And that's how I'd like to keep it.

So on to bigger and better things: Boxing day two, woo hoo!!!! I'm sore today, my legs are really tight. We didn't stretch yesterday after class, and I think I'll do that today when I come home. I'm really looking forward to pushing myself hard. My bff may even be there today. She is uber-ripped. She's a cop in NYC, so being fit is like a way of life for her and she takes it very seriously. She wasn't always a cop, she was a SAHM like me for years, but now her kids are older (she started younger than me) and she's a working stiff. Things have changed a lot for us. I left my older son's father, whom her and her family knew well. Come to find out, they didn't really think it was a great match....shhhhh! We used to meet every day and take the kids out in strollers walking to get fit. We were always struggling with those last few pounds. Then she became a cop and left me in the dust!!! And then the stress from having my little one at 27 weeks and the subsequent 2 months I spent in the hospital, put me up about 30 pounds. The hospital killed me. I was bedridden for 2 months, watching bad television and eating. The only thing to look forward to every day was visits from my family and eating. So I ate. It was the perfect storm of stress and environment. I ended up leaving the hospital heavier than when I gave birth. And that's the fight I'm still fighting today.

So I need to recommit today. I'm going to stay at or just below 1700 today. I will work out. I will drink my water and green tea. I will do it. I refuse to let the weekend bring me down! I want to have a good weekend. Food post to come...once I figure it out.

Survivor

2010-05-22T12:42:00.002-04:00

I survived. It was torture, but I did it. I had to take a lot of little mini-breaks, but I did it. I felt like I was gonna die, but I did it.

Here's what we did: Running laps, squat thrusts (burpees), wall sits, sprints, tons of ab work, kickboxing, and the usual take-out-all-your-frustration-on-the-heavy-bag punching combos, pushups, planks, and some weird sit-up and punching combo that was hella hard. I'm sore and it's not even 3 hours past my workout! I can't even imagine what it's going to be like tomorrow. I'm glowing with pride:) It only took me about 5 months to get back, but I'm finally there. My head's in the right space now. I even have war-wounds. Well, one. A bruise on my elbow from doing elbow strikes on the heavy bag. It's ok, it makes me look tough:)

BOXING!!!!!

2010-05-22T06:48:00.004-04:00

Yay! It's my first day of boxing. Finally! I'm nervous as heck, but I know I'll feel so good and proud of myself when I'm done. I have my bag all packed and in the car. My pink boxing gloves:) So girly. Nothing like having your butt kicked by a girl wearing pink gloves, ha.

Now on to other non-inspirational news: I laid out my food plan yesterday, but didn't stick to it. Too much beer, and I didn't eat all my veggies. I ended up at 1800 calories, so the damage wasn't too bad, but still. I wish I had gotten in more nutrition and less alcohol-ey goodness. Oh well, moving on....

The eats today:
-watermelon (last of it)
-athena melon
-romaine, tomato, and cuke salad w/ lemon tahini dressing
-borscht
-green smoothie (apple, banana, and baby spinach w/ water.....mmmm)
-yogurt, apple butter, and flax
-Dinner: Homemade baked ziti with eggplant. Vegetarian, but cheesy and oh so delish.

Total: 1627

I'll be back with the gruesome details of how my trainer kicked my heiney:) I'm planning on going again tomorrow, but the fiance-type man thinks I'll be too sore. Well, now, that kinda makes me wanna prove him wrong:P

Ideal CR Weight

2010-05-21T09:48:00.002-04:00

Crap. I did a little research online. It's not pretty, people! I'm 5 foot 8 inches tall, and my ideal weight without CR would be anywhere from 155-165. I decided 162, and so with a 10% reduction for CR, that puts me at 146!!!! AAAAAHHHH!!! I haven't weighed that in a looooong-ass time. Like early high school.

I can do it. I'm just going to focus on getting to my healthy weight, and then we'll take it from there. That's all I can do.

Distracted

2010-05-21T05:31:00.002-04:00

I had all these good intentions of posting when the hubbub died down, then I didn't. I sat on the couch with a whiskey and vegetated:) And yes, I added the calories.

Well, Ivan (my 3 yr old) had a physical. I have never really given all the details on just what we went through with him. He was born at 27 weeks and spent the first six months in the NICU fighting for his life, then another six months at a rehab hospital upstate. He was trached, had a gastric tube, and every central line he EVER got ended up infected. It got so bad that at one point they had the crash cart by his bed. His electrolytes were all screwy and they thought he'd go into cardiac arrest w/in 24 hours. We had to sign a DNR (Do Not Rescuscitate) form for him and everything. SO....for his 3 yr old annual physical, he came out great. His liver, which had been enlarged due to IV nutrition that gave him cirrhosis, is back to normal size! That kid amazes me. He's a peanut (only in the 25% percentile for weight, and the 10th percentile for height), but he's my healthy peanut! His hearing, eyes, body is all good. You do not know how great that feels to just hear how normal he is. There was a little concern that he'd have some long-lasting effects, maybe even brain damage, but other than being a little delayed (hey who wouldn't be after spending a year in a crib on their back?), he's going to be fine.

I got my first extra-special request for a recipe! Yay! I have to warn you though, I make it by 'feel' now and don't measure anything, then when I went to the recipe box, I saw that Mark's mom didn't measure either!!! So you get the basic ingredients and just do the add-and-taste method. I like mine pretty sweet and sour, so I always add a little extra sugar and red wine vinegar.....
So, onto the goodness!

Borscht-
Beets
Onions
Carrots
Celery

boil in a pot with chicken stock (that's the recipe, I use water sometimes), til tender, then add lemon juice, sugar, and red wine vinegar to taste. For the wegelya (sp??? again), you take out the solids and serve the clear broth. But for borscht, we just use an immersion blender and make it smooth. It's great with a dollop of sour cream or plain yogurt and a hard-boiled egg. Yum. Sorry it's not all measured, but that's the way us real cooks do it;)

Here's the chow I'm eating for the day:
-coffee w/ sugar and 1/2 and 1/2
-watermelon
-pineapple
-plain organic yogurt w/ apple butter and flaxseeds
-Borscht
-melon
-banana
-spinach, tomato, cuke salad w/ lemon tahini dressing
-broccoli w/ sesame seeds, soy sauce, and rice wine vinegar
-whiskey

Total so far=1441

BTW, stepped on the scale yesterday, and since Monday when the Dawn Project kicked off, I'm down 6 pounds!!!! I can't believe it. Today's plan is to research a little about what my ideal weight might be, and then what my 10% reduction of that would end up being. I'm scared! I'm worried that it might be unattainable. I know it's not, but I'm nervous about seeing some scary low number that will mess with my head, you know?

Today's workout is day 4 of the 30 Day Shred with Jillian Michael's. She's annoying me now, but the workout is good. I rested on Wednesday, since I had class and couldn't work out in the morning. And we all know what I'm really waiting for tomorrow: BOXING!!! I'm also scared of that. It's gonna hurt. But it must be done. And I ain't punkin' out.

Food Log

2010-05-20T09:25:00.003-04:00

I'm just going to give my food for the day. I have a pretty busy morning w/ doc appointments and schlepping the baby around (why do I still call him the baby??? He's 3). I'll be back with more later, gator.

-Banana/pineapple smoothie. Just whirled with water.
-coffee w/ sugar and half and half
-plain yogurt w/ apple butter and flaxseeds
-spinach, cucumber, tomato salad w/ lemon tahini dressing
-athena melon....new from the store, never seen it before, looks like a cantaloupe and a honeydew had a baby
-borscht (beets, celery, carrots boiled with a little water, little sugar, and red wine vinegar, then blended)
-pack of shirataki noodles
-marinara sauce
-broccoli
-homemade vinaigrette
-reduced fat feta
-loads of green tea and water

I'm trying to cut back on the sugar today, so I'm going to choke down the tea without sugar. Wish me luck!
Calories: 1249
On the low side, but it's a lot of food it seems, I'll figure it out later, maybe an apple with some peanut butter?

The Dawn Project, Day Three

2010-05-19T07:18:00.003-04:00

Well, I've survived a few days. I have eaten right, exercised, and it's all coming together. My attitude's better. I don't feel like crawling under a rock anymore. Let the snowball effect begin!

Today I have my last class. YAY! Bio final. I'm relatively prepared, unlike my precalculus 1 class, which I will unfortunately be retaking in the fall. I didn't fail, but I want a better grade. Gotta focus.

Random: I write down an inspirational quote every day as a theme for the day. Today, I was looking for something about education, but I did that yesterday. So today, I'm feeling sassy and eager for summer break, so the quote I found today is this: "Life must be lived as play." Guess who wrote this gem? Plato! I'm going to try my best, between exams and grocery shopping and bill-paying and kid-schlepping, to get some play in today. I'd advise you all to do the same. My play these days is sewing, but I'm thinking I may have to get down and dirty with some crayons and paper today, maybe on the floor with my two boys. Heck, I may even break out the glitter and glue!

On to the foodie goodness. I'm trying to give myself a few hundred calories leeway, as we all know from previous posts that I struggle with nighttime snacking. So, this way, I have a few calories to spare for that. I don't include it in my totals til the next day, because I don't know what it is. It could be light microwave popcorn, more fruit, or some cheese. I've been doing better with the night, but I still crave something around 9-10. It's a work in progress, I'm just happy I'm eating healthy again and sticking to CR.

-Leftover ham and cheese quiche
-1 apple
-1 c watermelon
-1 banana
-1 c pineapple
-2 c spinach
-1/2 cucumber
-3 c romaine
-1 tomato
-Tahini Lemon Dressing over above veggies
-1 c plain yogurt
-3 TB apple butter
-1 TB flaxseeds (these three make a killer snack: yogurt, apple butter, and seeds!!!)
-1 mug coffee with sugar and half and half
-3 mugs organic green tea w/ little sugar
-Raw gazpacho (last of the batch)

Total is 1503 Calories!!!

Found some calories.....

2010-05-18T07:04:00.003-04:00

Not that I was really in a dilemma or anything, but I found the rest of my calories for the day, and then a little more:) Only a little more. I made meatloaf for the family and couldn't resist a few small bites. Usually I'm ok with not eating the meat I make for them, but in my fragile, freshly-begun condition, I was weak. But the bulk of the extra calories came from a big bowl (2 cups) of steamed broccoli with a little reduced fat feta. Mmmm.

Today, I will stay under 1700. I WILL. I WILL. For my height and weight, the calculator I found online shows that at 1700 calories, it's 10% CR level. That's good for now.

In other academic-type news: I have a very stressful day ahead of me. As soon as my little one gets on the bus, I have a precalculus final to retake (thoroughly flubbed the first try) and I also have to study my booty off for my bio final tomorrow morning. Not too worried about the bio, will flip through my note cards and such, but the precal is a b*tch. I have not put the effort I should have into it, and I'm paying for it now. At least it's online, so I can sit there with my book and desperately try to find the formula I'm looking for:) This always happens: I start out all hotsy-totsy in the beginning of the semester, convinced that I'll get straight As. Then, I become a slacker in the topics that don't interest me and just do the bare minimum and have a "wait and see" sort of attitude. Then I end up panicking for the last month or so. Such a lame pattern. I'm striving for a better way after the summer. I was always a good student and learning comes fairly easily to me, so I sometimes rest on my laurels, thinking it will be easy for me, and then when it's not, I'm shocked! What a crock. I also tend to forget that life is not as easy breezy as it once was back in the day. I have 2 boys, a fiance, and a home to run. I really need the focus if I'm going to succeed. It's all related. Mind, body, and soul. Treating myself well physically will help mentally and snowball.

The garden is finally showing some sprouts. The tomatoes never grew past about 3 inches, so The Man is going to pick up some seedlings this weekend. But we've got peppers coming up, scallions, cucumbers, (we think) melons, and green beans. I really hope we get some stuff this year. Last year sucked. We are hoping to eventually grow enough of our own food, that we won't have to join the CSA. We love the CSA, but it's kind of expensive. Worth it, but expensive still.

OK, now for the food:
-1 banana
-1 apple
-raw gazpacho
-2 large eggs
-salsa
-1 c pineapple
-1 c watermelon
-meatloaf (it's part of the calories today, so I will just indulge in the red meat today)
-grilled cheese, no butter, whole grain bread, reduced fat american cheese
-2 c broccoli
-3 mugs organic green tea w/ a total of 1 TB sugar

Total= 1437 calories

The Dawn Project, Day One

2010-05-17T11:01:00.003-04:00

Intake for the day, I used the CRON-o-meter and I'm at 1248 calories. I have to figure out how to add more calories for a total of 1700, but I haven't gotten there yet. I'm thinking maybe a big bowl of broccoli and some rice?? It seems like a lot of food, but that's what happens when you start eating well again. More bang for your buck.

-Coffee with half and half and little sugar
-Smoothie made with blueberries, banana, hemp protein, and water
-3 c. romaine
-1/4 c reduced fat feta cheese
-2 TB homemade vinaigrette
-1 apple
-Raw gazpacho
-2 large eggs
-Salsa
-1 c pineapple
-1c watermelon
-2 veggie 'chicken' patties
-Hamburger roll
-3 mugs green tea w/ total of 1 TB sugar
-H2o Galore!!!

I'm back, baby! I didn't make boxing yesterday, my son's father was late getting to my son's soccer game, and I didn't have time to make the class. Grrrrr. I was really really ticked off when I got back home, but I ended up discussing it calmly with him and he apologized.

However, today is the day. I'm calling it The Dawn Project. I know, silly name, but I even made an Excel sheet. I was inspired by a new blog I found, called Ag's LIFE & CRON Blog. I've put columns for weight, calories, and exercise. Today I got in Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred, Level One. I really wanted to quit about halfway through, but I didn't. I sucked it up and I feel so much better for it:) My little one was my workout buddy. He would watch me, watch the video, then do the exercises. His squats were soooo cute! He even did 'crunchies' with me! I'm proud to set a good example for him that will hopefully stick with him for life.

So to anyone out there who's struggling, come on and join me. I've been slacking for far too long and it's over, rover! I'm over it, how about you???

Boxing

2010-05-16T07:25:00.002-04:00

Yep. I'm hitting the boxing gym today. I'm ascared! The workouts there are very brutal, and I'm out of shape and overweight. BUT. I really miss it, and my school/mommy schedule kept me away. Now I'm hoping to get ripped over the summer, when my schedule will once again resume. And by then, I'll be so in shape and addicted to it, that I'll find a way to make it work!

My older son has a soccer game this morning, then he's going with his dad to see Ironman 2. He's very excited. He loves any superhero, and has had a soft spot for Spiderman since he was about 1 1/2 years old.

Food continues to be a struggle. I am thinking that exercising will give me those feel-good brainwaves and make me feel a little more motivated to take better care of this bod. I've been eating meat. I've neglected my blender and juicer. And veggie/fruit consumption is way low. That can and will change. I know it. I just have to get off my now-bigger butt and do it. That's the only way. Through me and only me.

On the CSA front, we heard that the first pick-up will be the last week of May! Yippee! I'm so excited. At least I know that my produce intake will go up then. We have to use everything, and I like coming up with ways to use what they give us. Some hits, some misses, but always a flavor adventure! Gee, I sound like a commercial for CSAs, but if you have a chance to join one near you, I heartily cheer you on!

Stay tuned for the next post, in which I describe in great detail every ache and pain in every body part that got tortured boxing:) It won't be pretty.

Feeling Better:)

2010-05-10T14:07:00.002-04:00

Well, I've started a new med, and I have to say, I'm feeling less anxiety/panic attacks so far. I have to titrate, or gradually build up the levels in my blood. I'm up to two little pills a day tomorrow. The only downside so far is occasional dizzyness, which I'm thinking should go away SOON (please!).

I started to work out again today. Fresh start. I was soooo not excited to do this, so I figured I'd jump on the treadmill and go as far as I felt necessary. I did 20 minutes. Certainly not my best effort of all time, but it's a start, and that's what I need right now. I'm hoping once I get going, it'll all snowball in a good direction, unlike the last few weeks snowball in the bad/scary direction.

Mother's Day was awesome! I love Mother's Day better than my birthday, but not as much as Christmas. I love the little handmade cards and art, and that they get so excited to appreciate me for just one day. It's too cute, and I'll miss it when they get bigger. I guess not miss it, it will just be different.

Well, that's my update. I'm grateful for every positive thought sent my way during this extremely difficult time, and I am slowly on my way back.

Crash and Burn, Baby, Burn!!!

2010-04-29T09:22:00.002-04:00

To say I have fallen off the proverbial wagon would be the understatement of the century.

I have been eating way too much crap, put on about 15 pounds, and stopped working out. I had my first panic attack in ages last night. It snowballs, see. I start not taking care of myself, my meds get "off" and then I feel worse, and the fact that I'm not taking care of myself physically affects me, and it gets worse and things like panic attacks and depression start. Ugh.

I post on a Medifast board regularly for support. I love those women. They are so supportive and caring. So yesterday I sent out an S.O.S., which was really hard to do. They were there like white on rice, sending hugs and bits of advice and empathy. It's so hard to admit when you are destroying yourself. It's so shaming.
I know something is going on with me. I've been getting emotional at random things, like commercials or certain songs. This usually means my bipolar is acting up. And if I don't act now, it could spiral into mania or a massive depressive episode. I have an appointment with the nurse practitioner who monitors my psych meds, and I'll fill her in. It's really a shame, too. I had been stable for sooooo long, I had been pushing her to decrease some of my meds and possibly try removing some of them. The most opportune time to do so is the spring/summer. Looks like its not happening for me this year. Maybe next year.

40 things

2010-04-23T17:16:00.002-04:00

1. Do you like bleu cheese? hell yeah

2. Have you ever smoked? Yes, I smoked until my oldest came home from the NICU

3. Do you own a gun? Yes

4. Favorite type of food? Sushi

5. Favorite type of music? I like hardcore like metal and death metal, but everything really from pop to classical

6. What do you think of hotdogs?
It's a love-hate relationship

7. Favorite Christmas movie?
A Christmas Story
\
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Green tea with a little (very little) sugar

9. Can you do pushups?
Girly-style, yes

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
My ruby and diamond engagement ring

11. Favorite hobby?
Sewing

12. Do you have A.D.D.?
No

13. Do you wear glasses/contacts?
Yes both I'm totally blind without them
14. Middle name?
Rose

15. Name three thoughts at this exact moment?
Man, Jackson's annoying me......I want another whiskey.......oooooh Spongebob's on tv

16. Name three drinks you regularly drink?
Green tea, water, and whiskey

17. Current worry?
Money

18. Current hate right now?
School...it's almost summer!!!!

19. Favorite place to be?
Home

20. How did you bring in the new year?
At home watching the ball drop in Times Square NYC

21. Someplace you'd like to go?
Spain

22. Name three people who will complete this.
No one

23. Do you own slippers?
Yes, but I never wear them, I go barefoot mostly

24. What color shirt are you wearing?
Purple, black and white

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
No, too hot

26. Can you whistle?
Yes

27. Where are you now?
In the dining room

28. Would you be a pirate?
Sure

29. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Currently, Lady GaGa:)

30. Favorite girl's name?
Tallulah

31. Favorite boy's name?
Jack or Sasha

32. What is in your pocket right now?
No pockets

33. Last thing that made you laugh?
My son cracking his head on the wall

34. What vehicle do you drive?
Scion xB

35. Worst injury you've ever had?
Major infection involving 8 surgeries

36. Do you love where you live?
Hate where we live can't wait to move

37. How many TVs do you have in your house?
5

38. How many computers do you have in your house?
one laptop, three pcs

39. If you changed your job, what would it be?
Tattoo artist, if i had the talent

40. If you were granted three wishes, what would they be?
Financial security/wealth, health, and more creativity/artsy fartsiness

Still here

2010-04-12T10:34:00.002-04:00

We all got wiped out by strep throat. It sucks.

I am still alive. Just trying to figure out how to eat still. It seems like such a basic function, yet why does it confuse me and tempt me? It should just be a function of living, like sleeping, but it's wrapped in intrigue, temptation, and dogma.
I'm currently doing the CRON-o-meter and counting points on Weight Watchers. I'm not a member, but I was and still have all my literature. So I'm trying to do CRON and WW together. We'll see how that works.
I haven't run for a week and a half due to illness. I'm itching to get back to it. I'll probably run tomorrow.

Getting better....

2010-03-29T13:21:00.002-04:00

I am not eating as much at night now. I say not as much because like all of you, I am not perfect and it has been challenging to say the least. But I'm still fighting the good fight (or is it fighting the food fight?).

Today's food includes a raw fruit smoothie, a green smoothie, a bean and kale soup, and some raw gazpacho. And maybe a salad.

I've not lost any weight recently. The running is getting good. I'm up to 28 whole entire minutes of running without stopping (hopefully!). I'm thinking something's gotta give soon. I can't keep eating well and running and not lose something....sheesh. I'm also taking all my supplements. 5 HTP, 7 keto DHEA, vitamin D, fish oils, and a multivitamin. So far, I'm not noticing a huge difference. A lighter mood, maybe. Not so moody at all.

In between homework, I'm also sewing again. The current project is a Hotpatterns jacket, my first attempt at any kind of jacket. It's a supposedly simple one, unlined, easier collar and such. I'm stuck on the collar right now, so I have to consult my Singer Sewing book to see some visuals. Otherwise I'm gonna have to email Trudy at Hotpatterns for a sewing S.O.S:) I'll post pics when it's done.

Oh, and I saw Precious Saturday night. I thought it was great, even though it was quite depressing. She was a great character though. Nothing beat her down, even though life certainly tried. Mark (the fiance) even liked it, and he's a tough critic.

Dawn 1, Food 0

2010-03-19T13:17:00.004-04:00

I did it. I didn't snack last night! Not one morsel passed these lips. Can I get a whoop-whoop?

I think because I was so irritated about it that it stuck in my head. Normally, I'm half asleep and just grabbing something because I think I'm hungry. Well, I obviously want to keep this going. But how? I guess taking it one day (night) at a time couldn't hurt. I'll just focus at bedtime on the fact that I don't want to eat. I'll keep you posted.

In other news, I have been running more, and coming up Sunday is a 25 minute run, no breaks. Oy. Can she do it? Hell yeah, she can! I just can't see me stopping, I'll feel like a massive failure.

Menu today includes a banana-blueberry smoothie, a large romaine salad with mushrooms, a low fat cheese quesadilla on whole grain tortilla, and my green smoothie (apple, banana, and baby spinach whirled up with some water). Oh, and I'm drinking 3 cups of green tea a day now. We'll see what comes of that. I'm in a rut with the banana blueberry smoothie and the green smoothie. Do you do that? Have foods that you eat over and over every day? I don't mind it, I like it for now, I just wonder if others do that too. I cycle it seems.

Bingeing

2010-03-18T09:53:00.003-04:00

I'm so annoyed with myself right now.

Mark and I have an issue. He likes to sleep with the tv off and has a hard time falling asleep if it's on. Me, I've always fallen asleep with the tv on and just set the timer so it turns off later after I've fallen asleep. Well, I sleep on the couch most nights so I can watch tv, and he sleeps in the bedroom where it's all dark and quiet. This all started when I had surgery after my littlest one was born. I had a contraption called a wound vac (yes it's just what it sounds like) attached to my abdomen, and it would alarm and make noise all night. And it was easier to just sleep on the couch, more comfortable with the wound vac, since I needed a place to set it on and the coffee table worked just fine.
So, we all know I've been struggling with late night snacking and insomnia. It's made much easier by the fact that the couch is right next to the kitchen and nobody's around to see me. See, I'm sneaky. Well, last night I tried to sleep in the bedroom. I figure this will help me stay out of the fridge during the night. I turned on the tv, even though I know Mark doesn't like it. We gotta compromise right? It's turned down so low I can hardly hear it, so it won't disturb him, and he's got his eye mask on and earplugs in. Well, I am 'this close' to falling asleep and he turns to me and says (waking me totally up, btw) he can't fall asleep. So, sighing, I just get up and go out to the living room. A little irritated, but understanding. Then I eat. I ate pretzels, cookies, and a bowl of raisin bran with 1% milk. I ate because I was kinda mad and I couldn't get back to sleep.

Why? Why do I sabotage myself? I work out consistently, I eat right during the day. Then night comes and I totally ruin the good things I've done for myself.
I've ordered a buttload of supplements to start taking. I am following Dr. Amen's Change Your Brain, Change Your Body. I suffer from depression and bipolar disorder, and a lot of what he says makes sense to me. There are so many factors that affect weight and depression. Deficiency in any number of nutrients can lead to depression, sleep problems, and weight gain. Not getting enough sleep in itself is a weight factor. I have so much going against me. But I'm going to try these supplements, and keep trying to stop the late night eating. That's all I can do is try. I have the pieces of the puzzle, I just have to put them together correctly.

I did it!

2010-03-15T13:44:00.002-04:00

I'm a runner! I ran 20 minutes. Actually in a row, no breaks:) It was tough the first 7 or 8 minutes, I didn't think I was gonna make it. I just had the thought of feeling like a huge failure if I didn't get it done. And that just would not work. Next week is 25 minutes. Oh sh*t.

My son went to the doc today. They ordered a strep test and we'll find out Wednesday if it's positive. They did the normal test in the office, but it came back negative, and they said their test in-office is only 70-75% accurate. He's sleeping right now. Poor thing. He was negative for the flu too.

Today's menu: cantaloupe, a romaine and mushroom salad, a grilled cheese on whole grain bread, a banana-raspberry smoothie, and a bean and kale minestra (soup) from one of my Moosewood cookbooks. I know the grilled cheese isn't all that healthy, but I'm craving it. And the CRON-o-meter says I can have one! Hurray for C-o-meter....I'm just doing what it tells me.

Tonight's goal: NO NIGHTTIME SNACKING! This means you, Dawn. I have been so bad about this lately. Not hugely unhealthy snacks either, but still. I need to cut it out.

I saw on PBS this doctor Daniel Amen and his program, Change Your Brain, Change Your Body. Hmmmm. My interest is piqued. A lot of what he said spoke to me. I struggle with a lot of the symptoms that lead to being overweight. Depression, bipolar, anxiety, hormone imbalances, and disordered sleep. I'm a mess. He had a lot to say about supplements like fish oil and vitamin D and various others. I'm not so sure about all the brain stuff, but what he was doing would definitely be considered healthy. It wasn't so far 'out there', you know? So anyway, Mark is buying me the book today. He's a good man:)

He's burnin' up

2010-03-14T07:33:00.002-04:00

My older son's fever got up to 104.8F yesterday. We were concerned, but not emergency room concerned. So we pumped him full of ibuprofen overlapped with tylenol, and put him in a lukewarm bath. He's acting fine, just a little tired. This morning he seems to have broken it, sitting pretty at a relatively cool 99.6. Whew. He was worried he'd miss his day with his dad (his dad gets him Tue, Thurs, and Sun), I felt bad for him.

I'm down a few more pounds! I've been doing mostly raw still. Sticking to my calories. I just made a morrocan couscous salad called Salat Tangiers. It's got raisins, peppers, carrots, onions, parsley, almonds, and mint in a super yummy marinade of OJ, lemon juice, a little oil, cinnamon, cayenne, and a pinch of salt. I used whole wheat couscous and halved the oil, and it still came up atrocious on the CRON-o-meter! It's got 600 calories per serving! Ouch! Still, I can have that for lunch and keep everything else light. Should be ok.

We had a terrible rainy windy storm here on Long Island last night. The house actually creaked and shook a little in the wind. It was pretty fa-reaky! The power flickered off a few times, but never actually went out. Today there are branches all over the driveway from the empty wooded lot next door. I was worried that I'd wake up this morning to a tree sitting in my living room. It was that windy. I'm surprised that local news isn't calling it a hurricane.

I'm on my last day of my 5th week straight of running. Of course, I'm only running on my treadmill three days a week, but the C25K program recommends taking a day of rest in between runs. So I'm just doing what the internet tells me. Today's run is the toughest yet. 20 continuous minutes. I'm a little nervous, but also excited to 'conquer' it. The last interval was 8 min running, 5 min walking, then finished with another 8 min running. The program runs a total of 9 weeks, working up to 30 minutes straight running. Doesn't seem possible, but I know I will do it. It just seems so foreign. Me- a runner! Ha! Who'da thunk it?!

Spring has sprung...

2010-03-11T09:27:00.003-05:00

At least inside the house. The first sprouts of our garden-to-be shot up this morning! It's the cherry tomatoes and the hot peppers. I love that feeling of seeing that little green shoot peeking out of the soil. It's like I'm a kid again. I'm all, "I made that happen!!!"

I have to make this post a shorty, due to the scientific paper on enzymes and variables affecting their activity that is due tomorrow for my bio class. Oy. All I have done so far is the intro. And I'm not happy with it, so I'll probably scrap it and write another one.

On the diet front, I'm down a few pounds. I've been eating mostly raw, I'd say approximately 75%, and having a vegetarian cooked dinner. I made some delicious pasta with broccoli and garlic and oil yesterday for dinner, and it was so simple and delish. Of course it was whole grain pasta:) Gotta keep it healthy! I grilled up some chicken boobies for the family and just tossed their portions with the meat. For today's menu, I have some gazpacho chilling in the fridge, I'll probably have some sort of fruit smoothie, and a salad with creamy cucumber dill dressing (from Jennifer Cornbleet's book, which I kinda reviewed earlier). Dinner will be......a surprise I guess!

Yummy foods

2010-03-09T10:30:00.002-05:00

I had a delicious cantaloupe smoothie (just cantaloupe and water whirled in the blender) after my running today, and I just whipped up some raw borscht. Can't wait to dig in at lunch! Not sure what is for dinner yet, but I'm thinking a nice big salad of romaine, red pepper, and cucumber. I'll look through my books and find a new dressing. I'm burnt out a little on my lemon tahini for now. The weather is so sunny and nice here, I'm craving something fresh and light, maybe something citrusy or herby.
I've got the windows open here today. It's so nice and fresh in here now. Blowing away the winter doldrums. I'm planning a big spring cleaning project this year. We'll see how that goes:) I'm not the neatest person, but I think this year I would like to get organized and do a deep cleaning. I printed out how-to's and checklists for each room. I'm thinking one room a week starting next week. I'll start with the kitchen. That will be the hardest. The easiest should be the living room. Of course, we have ceiling fans that are filthy, so that's gonna be fun.

Slowly recuperating

2010-03-08T07:19:00.002-05:00

Well, it seems that I had food poisoning instead of chicken-nugget-itis. We think we found the culprit: avocados. I was the only one eating them and the only one who got horribly ill. After the first time I felt sick, I washed my produce more carefully and even washed things that you don't eat the outer rind/peel of. This did not help. But I'm still spooked and learned a valuable lesson: wash everything very well! I will do the obligatory splash at the sink no more! No details need to be given other than I didn't get a wink of sleep and spend the night in the bathroom. I also discovered, well my family discovered, that I can be a raging bitch when I don't get food in me! I was a miserable wretch most of the next day. But I like to think I made it up to them:)

Project Garden 2010 is underway here. Mark, the fiance, went to Home Depot with the boys and picked out our seeds. We've got cherry tomatoes, regular tomatoes, peppers (sweet and hot), watermelon, cucumber, and various herbs. This year we are really hoping it takes off. Mark is also working on getting a compost pile going for us. We want to lessen our dependence on traditional produce, focusing on the CSA and our very own homegrown varieties! I started the seeds inside yesterday. With the coal stove blasting, the house is consistently 80 degrees, so I'm hoping that goes in their favor. I have them on a nice sunny sill and can't wait to see those little shoots pop up!

School goes well. I got a 95 on my first western civ exam, and a *drum roll*......96 on my bio exam! I was in shock. I guess I really do have an aptitude for the sciences. And gee, I suppose it will come in handy as a science teacher. Ya think?

Puking...or 'don't ever eat meat again'

2010-03-03T09:51:00.002-05:00

I had a horrible night last night. I was feeling like eating something 'bad'. Now this could have meant anything.... I have given up so many things in recent months, it's amazing. Most of these foods do not make their way into my house anymore. Having young kids, I did have frozen chicken nuggets from our local warehouse club type store. I nuked them, shared them with my baby, and began feeling miserable shortly thereafter. By the time my fiance, Mark, came home from work, I was doubled up on the couch in the fetal position. I could not believe the lead weight in my stomach, and how hot and sweaty I felt. Shortly after he came home, I put myself out of my misery via a visit to the toilet bowl and a finger down the throat. Some ginger ale, then I felt better, but still not quite right....I didn't even sleep well. This morning I felt almost like a hangover from drinking too much. I am stunned. I am feeding this stuff to my children with very little thought. And now that I've cleaned up my diet, this same food that nourishes my kids has become very toxic to me. My fiance was very disturbed. He was like, "So now what? You can never eat meat again?" I don't think this is the answer, but I do think the form of meat matters. Some chopped-up machine molded hunk of animal flesh is not going to do me or my family any favors. Needless to say, the nuggets will not be on next month's shopping list.....

Raw lasagna

2010-02-28T09:29:00.002-05:00

I just made the raw lasagna recipe from Jennifer Cornbleet's Raw Food Made Easy for 1 or 2 People. Wow. Yummy. It was very easy, and although it doesn't taste like my meatier version, it satisfied that whole casserole-y saucy craving. It used a raw marinara sauce (also from the book), spinach, avocado, and zucchini 'noodles'. I find myself using this book a lot. It has very easy recipes that just have 1 or 2 servings, which is convenient because I'm the only one eating the stuff usually. I've also fallen in love with the lemon tahini dressing in the book. Try it over baby spinach and avocado chunks. There are some juice recipes I've used too. The spring rolls are delicious with the mock peanut sauce for dunking.
So far, I've lost about 5 pounds. Not even trying! Just eating raw, whole foods, with little to no processing. I use the CRON-o-meter every other day, and my nutrition is off the charts. I am keeping calories within my personal limits, and getting all my macro- and micronutrients. Fiber is high. I'm chugging water. Life is good:)
Running is getting a little more interesting. I'm actually running for 5 minutes straight in the intervals for this week in my training program (Couch to 5k), and it feels better. It's sort of a challenge, but I'm sure after this week (week 4) it'll be much easier. Today was the first day of the 5 minute interval.
In other news, I got a 95 on my western civ exam! Woot! I felt pretty good about it when I took it, so it wasn't that big of a surprise, but still.
So check out the cookbook. If you want to try a little raw in your life, it's a good place to start. Simple recipes, not a lot of funky ingredients like some raw books. Try it, you'll like it!

Feeling Rawsome!

2010-02-25T08:56:00.003-05:00

I am feeling so good now. The headaches went away and I have superwoman energy! I also feel less bloated and 'fuzzy' in the head. I have also lost 2 pounds in 3 days! I could go on and on. So my basic staples seem to be a raw gazpacho, baby spinach salads with tahini lemon dressing, and fruit smoothies with a little flax seed or hemp protein. I find I don't get as ravenous as I used to, or have that unsatisfied feeling like I am looking for 'something' foodwise. I even forget to eat sometimes. I have broken the habit of feeling bored and then rummaging aimlessly in the cupboards or fridge. I've got such momentum, I don't wanna lose it! I just need to keep my eyes on the prize, and stay focused on what I really want/need.

And I ran. I ran so far away.....not really. I ran on the treadmill downstairs. I need some new music to work out to. Any suggestions? What do you work out to? I like mostly dancey/pop numbers like Britney Spears, Pink, Lady Gaga, and the hard stuff like System of a Down or Metallica. But I'm bored. Feels like I've been running to the same music for decades. Ugh.

I'm sewing again too. BUT nearly every damn thing I sew doesn't fit right. I'm either choosing unflattering styles, which due to my newbie-ness I can't exactly do couture yet, or I'm just sizing wrong. At the moment I'm on a mission to find the perfect tee shirt pattern. I have two, but they just don't do it. There's either complicated facings that I never get right, or in order to fit my gigantor boobage the shirt just fits the girls then turns into a tent/maternity look everywhere else. Not a good look. I just want a frickin' tee shirt that fits perfectly! Is that too much to ask? I currently have a bunch of 'wadders' in a pile to donate, and I do have one knit dress I made that I can actually wear out of the house. It's a little big, but it works.

I'm off to study. I have lots of reading to catch up on, and a precalculus exam to cram...er...study for.

Join the crowd

2010-02-24T07:17:00.003-05:00

I read Nenette's blog over at lifecandy, and she's doing this wonderful list of 100 things she loves. It is part of Studio Notes' blog project of 52 weekly blog ideas. (Wow I just now figured out how to do those nifty links in my text! I rock!) Well, I wanna be a part of this. Even though I'm joining in at the end.
So without further ado I present 100 things (not people) I love.
1.System of a Down's Aerials
2.right now, Lady Gaga
3.a fresh blank Word document
4.Cold hard cash (I know how very materialistic of me, but I don't work and every penny I get I cherish. til I spend it. then it's over.)
5.sushi
6.pizza
7.my iPod set on shuffle
8.my treadmill (it's a love/hate thing)
9.pineapple
10.single malt scotch on the rocks
11.Ministry's Just One Fix
12.Nine Inch Nails (I've seen them in concert around 8 times)
13.hair dye
14.nail polish
15.MAC lip gloss
16.my sons' artwork
17.Christmas
18.my birthday
19.my car stereo
20.looking at stuff on a microscope
21.Glee
22.Family Guy
23.Tori Amos sometimes
24.my laptop
25.my velour loungewear from Victoria's Secret
26.boots
27.dresses with leggings (and #26)
28.cardigans
29.my tattoos
30.the way my sweetie smells (no cologne, just him)
31.the cold side of the pillow
32.fresh fruit smoothies
33.green power juice from my juicer
34.sewing things (that never seem to fit right)
35.stars (the shape and the ones in the sky)
36.the number 3
37.the color red
38.black
39.documentaries (mostly health or nutrition related)
40.Tim Burton
41.dancing with my two boys
42.NOVA on PBS
43.diamond stud earrings (princess cut)
44.facebook
45.knitting
46.boxing (doing it, not watching it)
47.my pink boxing gloves
48.Harajuku Lovers 'G' perfume
49.Neutrogena body oil
50.Annie Stela (I've actually gotten (a little)teary-eyed listening to her)
51.Sesame Street
52.running
53.grocery shopping
54.orchids
55.those pink and orangey lilies (the smell!!!)
56.email
57.financial aid and government grants for school
58.used textbooks
59.old Anne Rice
60.the Ting Tings
61.checking the mail
62.getting packages
63.Bust magazine
64.my shaved (well, buzzed) head
65.striped baby socks
66.System of a Down's B.Y.O.B
67.Final Fantasy games
68.Lost Odyssey for xBox 360
69.Civilization 3 old school for PC
70.old Metallica
71.Jennifer Tilly (little teeny girly voice like me)
72.facials
73.massages
74.ballet flats
75.dirty little boy smell
76.Shel Silverstein
77.hot showers
78.fall
79.Halloween (holiday)
80.Tank Girl (movie)
81.Secretary (movie)
82.my celly with the full qwerty keyboard
83.my Medifast Pin-Ups group
84.elephants
85.my camera
86.driving fast (without the kids)
87.H20
88.our coal stove
89.my crafty/studio space
90.being barefoot
91.cheese
92.hand cream
93.Calorie Restriction (CRON)
94.superfoods
95.concerts
96.plastic kiddie pools
97.our CSA
98.my health
99.anti-depressants
100.sunglasses

Oh my that took a long time, but was super fun! Check out the site and join in!
EDIT-Ok, there is one person on the list (Lady GaGa), but it's not about loving her, it's her music and her persona.

Tabouli addict

2010-02-23T07:19:00.002-05:00

I have a problem. A tabouli addiction! I can't stop eating it. It's like the regular tabouli, but without the bulgur wheat. It's basically a delicious tomato salad with an olive oil and lemon juice dressing. Oh my it is so good!! I ate two big bowls of it yesterday. Today's menu includes some Indian flavored marinated raw carrots. I broke out my new hand held mandoline for the job. Worked awesome! I love that it made nice and thin uniform slices. Good stuff.
Yesterday went well. I have been trying to chug a lot of water upon rising, before the morning coffee. My coffee intake is down too. I only have one cup each day, and I don't even think I need it. It's just habit, you know? So anyways, this water I chug supposedly gets the detox process moving along. This is good for the liver. Well, move along it did. If you know what I mean. 'Nuff said.
I did experience a little headache yesterday and felt a little fuzzy mentally. I expect this is a detoxification of some sort. It was a nuisance, but nothing major. I just laid on the couch for the evening and took it easy.
Today is another day. I am committing to another day without meat. One day at a time is all I can manage, plus I will never give up my sushi. I know, I know, it could contain some horrible parasites, but I just love it and it is the one non-negotiable. I eat it only a few times a year, maybe two or three? Everyone has something. Hell, giving up cheese was like sticking bamboo shoots under my nails! And I did that. So as far as I'm concerned, I'm a success:) A work in progress, but still...a success.
Running today. I'm doing a Couch to 5K program I found online, and I'm currently in week 3 of 9. It's pretty easy so far, but I see some tough weeks coming up. Like running constantly for 20 minutes. Ah. That's gonna hurt. But it's a good hurt. At least that's what I'll tell myself.

Must See TV

2010-02-22T09:05:00.002-05:00

O.M.G. I saw the best documentary last night. We got it from Netflix, and it's called Food Matters. It really is must see tv, in my opinion. Basically, we as Americans are fatter and sicker than ever, and medicine and drugs are doing little to make us healthy, they just cure acute afflictions. Chronic diseases are running rampant. The focus should be on whole, organic, preferably raw foods. They talk about what your immune system does when you eat cooked animal based protein (it was a long fancy work like leuko-something). Basically, you cannot heal your body if your immune system is in constant attack/inflammation mode. Raw food is ideal due to the active enzymes in the food that are killed when heated. Modern doctors have basically no training in nutrition, and the pharmaceutical companies like it that way. The sicker we are, the more drugs we 'need'. Oh, I could go on and on about this film. And I kinda already have, but I'll stop now. Just go see it, please!
So as a result of my shock/interest in nutrition, I'm going to change my ways for real. I have made half-assed attempts at these things, but I really see that it is a matter of personal responsibility. If I don't do it for myself, no one else will! I'm also not going to hog all this wholesome goodness for myself anymore, I'm going to share with my family more than ever. I've decided that for today I will be vegetarian and raw! I'm only committing to today in order to not overwhelm myself and make promises that I won't keep. My hunny and I were discussing, and we want to introduce more vegetarian/vegan and raw food to the kids. I pride myself for their somewhat decent diets. I mean, they get their fruits and veg, but I don't share the raw or vegan stuff with them much, and they are soooo worth it! I think I've decided I'm not personally going to eat meat anymore, but I will still cook chicken and fish for my family. We are done with red meat for good. Can you tell I'm totally inspired??

I'm baaaack (again!)

2010-02-21T11:59:00.002-05:00

I've gained a little of the weight that I lost on Medifast, but not much. I'm now sticking strictly to my CRON-ie lifestyle again. I flipped through my CR books (The CR Way, The Anti-aging Diet, and The Longevity Diet), and I'm going to go with 1800 calories. This is for a woman 31-50 who's moderately active. I've been exercising 5 days a week, 2 days interval cardio/strength/abs, and 3 days running. I also hope to get back to my boxing soon. It's just tough with school on the days I used to go in the mornings, and so I have to try to see if I can drag my arse out the door with two kids for a 5pm boxing workout a few times a week. I really miss it.
Speaking of school, it's going very well. I'm taking Bio 1, western civ 1, precalculus 1, and world regional geography. The geography and precal are online, the other two are on campus. I feel great. I just took my first western civ test, 3 essay questions and 55 multiple choice, and I think I got an A, or at the very least a B. It went better than I thought it was going to.
I also did something very drastic to my appearance. I used the buzzer set to 1/2 inch, and buzzed all my hair off. I love it, my honey loves it, and it gets lots of compliments so far. It's very very low maintenance! Like as in no maintenance. I do regularly wear earrings now and makeup to feminize it a little. Just little diamond princess cut studs and a little eyeshadow and mascara. But when I wear a tank top or tube top, I look very interesting with all my tattoos showing and the hair. Did I mention I loved the movie Tank Girl when I was a girl???
My littlest boy started school in January. He loves it. He goes for 3 hours 5 days a week. The bus comes right to the door and drops him right off at the driveway. Very convenient. He did, however, catch RSV and end up hospitalized for two days due to germ-infested classmates. Then, when he went back, he was fine for a few days, then was sick again. Took him to the doc and the verdict was bronchitis. So he missed another week of school. I'm not liking the whole illness deal that came along with school. I'm hoping once the weather breaks he'll do better. He's already at a disadvantage with his lungs due to prematurity.
Well, that's about it for the update. I will be posting regularly again. Promise. If anyone's still out there reading. I'll just pretend that I have tons of adoring blogland fans:)

Down 25 or so pounds

2009-12-12T16:57:00.002-05:00

Well, I'm down 25 pounds. I did the whole Medifast thing for a while, now I'm on high raw vegan. I just made us some yummy raw vegan stuffed mushrooms. My fiance even loved them! He said if I keep cooking like that, he'll definitely be more open to the raw vegan lifestyle.
I'm currently at an overweight weight, but not much. I'm 5 foot 8 inches, and 175 pounds. I am still losing now after the Medifast.
I picked up a new exercise/obsession: boxing. I go three times a week right now, but will go more once the next semester starts. Oh, the news on that front: Ivan, my little one, qualified for preschool 5 days a week from 12 to 2:30. He will get all his therapies, occupational, physical, and speech there at the site. And he'll be in an integrated classroom with normal kids and developmentally delayed kids.
I have changed my major for school as well. I just didn't see a market for a gym teacher out here. They are laying off gym teachers and having one teacher cover two or three schools. SO....I am now an education major with a biology/science emphasis. I will eventually become a high school science/biology/chemistry teacher! Ha. It was a whole situation with talking and talking and talking some more. I have always thought of teaching, just never actually thought of pursuing it. So next semester I will be taking *drum roll*........precalculus 1, modern biology 1, western civ, and world regional geography!!! Woo hoo! Can't wait....

Day 4

2009-10-06T13:28:00.002-04:00

Day four, down 4 pounds!! Yay!
It was hard the first few days, but now I'm getting in the groove. I have nutrition class tonight. I'm looking forward to turning in my nutrition tallies for the three day intake. I did ok. Need more fiber, but most numbers were good.
Yoga is getting better, although last Friday we did all balancing poses. If you ever wanna feel inept, try that! I still feel like a loser in that class, but less so. And I keep chanting to myself, "It's not a yoga competition. It's not a yoga competition....."

Biting the bullet

2009-10-01T12:28:00.002-04:00

Well, I did it. I finally reached my breaking/desperation point. After much research, I ordered my first 5 weeks of the Medifast plan. I just really need something I don't have to worry or think about too much. Obviously, me being in control of my food is not working for weight loss. So I'll put it in someone else's hands for a few months. From what I've been reading, a lot of people who need to lose about 40 pounds like me do it in 3-4 months. Once it's off, I just know I can keep it off, since I'm not gaining now and haven't for a while, other than the odd two or three pounds up and down. I work out every day in some way, so exercise isn't something I'll need to worry about once the weight's off. I already have the habit.
However, looking at some of the ingredients is a little scary. Frankenfood. The 'eggs' are not real eggs. The first ingredient may indeed be eggs, but there's a whole plethora of junk after that. The good thing is that almost everything is fortified w/ vitamins and minerals. I think that's a good thing, anyway. I figure I may not have the whole-foods way of life right now, but I know that after the weight comes off, I'll go back to my sometimes-raw-but-always-healthy-and-whole-foods self. I'm just so damn desperate to get the weight off. I'm grasping at straws. I know this. But something's gotta give. My mother had good results on Medifast years ago. I know, she may still be obese now, but back then she wasn't nearly as big as she is now. She can't exercise due to her hips (she is in a scooter-chair), and her diet is poor now. So she didn't really stick to a healthy lifestyle.
Oh, I got a great compliment from my mom in an email. She was saying she was regretting a comment that she made about me looking like her Aunt Carolyn. I replied back, "What an apple on two toothpicks???" I thought it was a funny moment, but she felt bad for commenting on my shape and said she didn't mean to hurt my feelings (which she didn't). Well, she said in her email that I looked "awesome" and that she wished she looked as good. That blew me away. She's never ever said anything like that to me. It was a big encouragement. It lets me know that even though I may be overweight, I'm generally happy and am taking care of myself. I haven't given up on me. I hate when people fall into self-hatred and low confidence just because they are out of shape or overweight. I mean, we all have our pity party moments, but in general I like to dress nice and do my hair and makeup still. There's no reason to stop loving yourself just because of your perceived 'flaws'. You need to treat yourself nice and do whatever you need to do to feel good about yourself, whether that's eating healthy and exercising, or finding clothes that flatter you.
Ok, this was a lenthy post. I'll get off my soapbox now. Wow, this was like a pity party and cheering session all in one! I feel better now. I've purged:)

I'm baaack

2009-09-28T14:45:00.002-04:00

We got back from Portland last Tuesday. Everything went well. My sister looked beautiful. I'm very happy for both her and her new husband. My boys were the only kids at the wedding, so we left after we ate at the reception. I couldn't really watch them because I was at the wedding party table and they were with DH at another table. He really took one for the team this trip. He basically was a chauffeur and a babysitter the whole time. He was good about it, though. I felt bad for him.
I gained two pounds during the trip, due to only fast food and restaurants the whole time. I am considering it a victory, however. It was only two pounds when it could have been more.
Now that I'm back and settled in, I'm tweaking my diet again. I'm poring over my raw food cookbooks again. Or is it un-cookbooks since there's no actual cooking involved? I am juicing every other day, because those juices can be pretty high in calories, so every other day evens it out a bit. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself:)
Yoga is going well. I didn't hurt nearly as much after last Friday's class. In speech/communications, I have actually gotten up and spoken two times. For me this is crazy! And for my nutrition class, we have a project involving keeping track of our intake for three days, two of which must be Saturday and Sunday. We have special software that came with the text, and all these reports to print out and hand in along with two questionnaires about our results. I'm looking forward to this project. I've already done my three days of food intake, and am just waiting to do the questionnaires.
According to The CR Way, I should be consuming 1600 calories a day for a 20% reduction in calories. They have me set for my age and activity level at 2000 calories as a base. So figure subtract 400 for a 20% reduction, making 1600. I don't know, that seems high to me, but then again, I've been trying to lose weight forever, so maybe I've been going too low. Anyway, I'm going to set my goal for 1600. I'll report back on how it's working out.

Ouch

2009-09-13T10:07:00.002-04:00

Yoga is hard. I am in pain. Everything hurts. My butt, my back, my arms, my abs.... and this was from Friday, and it's now Sunday! I tried everything in class, couldn't do some things, but it was great. I'm going to love Friday mornings I think. Hopefully I won't be in as much pain next time.
I'm currently hovering at 190. Just one more pound and I can officially be in the 180s!! I'm sticking to my calorie goals, exercising, and drinking lots of water.
I'm still lifting weights three times a week and the yoga once a week. I'm still not feeling the treadmill just yet. I'll add it, just later. Trust me, it'll be there when I'm ready. It's just sitting there, taunting me.
I'm making a crockpot dinner tonight. Eggplant and pea curry over brown rice. Sounds yummy, we'll see how it comes out. Last night was salmon with potatoes and spinach.
School is going great. I even stood in front of my communications class and introduced another student! I'm pretty shy and introverted, so this was hard for me. But I'm glad I did it. The professor has us getting up and speaking in every class, so I'm happy I jumped in and didn't die or anything:) I'll hopefully get used to it. I'm thinking this semester I might be able to pull off straight A's. That will really help my GPA.
Well, that's it from my side, hope everyone who reads is doing well!

Packing

2009-09-10T11:10:00.002-04:00

I know it's still a week away, but I'm almost done packing for the trip to WA for my sister's wedding. Hey, with two kids, I just know I'm going to forget something, and if I pack it all early, maybe I'll remember by the time we leave!
I'm doing well. Eating is good. Still struggle with the night time some days, but not most. About 2 times a week. I'm sleeping better. Exercise is spotty, at best. I attack with fervor some days, and can't be bothered others. Oh well, I would say I do get exercise most days.
I've been sticking to a calorie level of about 1400 a day. Sometimes higher, usually a little lower. Fat is at around 20 percent. I'm eating a lot of plain yogurt, cottage cheese, fresh fruits and veggies (green smoothies), and dinner is the usual lean protein and some sort of veggie. Last night I made a crockpot full of black beans, served with brown rice. My kids don't even know what white bread and rice is. And that's just the way I like it:) Well, the older one knows about the yukky stuff now that he's in school. Thank you, school district!
My older boy just started first grade yesterday. I didn't get emotional this year like I did the last two years for kindergarten and preschool. I was a wreck for preschool. We walked there, and I bawled the whole way back. Then kindergarten was a little better, just sniffly. But this year, no tears, no eyes welling up. He came back in a great mood and excited. He said his teacher is 'super nice'. I'm enjoying the freedom, even though my 2 yr old is still home. It's much quieter around here.
I'm back in school too. Yoga's great, I think that Friday morning is a perfect time for relaxing yoga stretching. I get to it before my day even starts. Nutrition was good, a little easy. Since I'm so diet-conscious to begin with, I didn't learn much about reading food labels that I didn't already know. Hopefully I'll pick up some new stuff. The teacher is nice, she is also the mother of all boys, so thus the only woman in a house full of boys. We bonded. The class is mostly young men, all athletes. I felt A) FAT and out of shape and B) OLD:) I got over it though. I'm a work in progress, baby! Come see me this time next year!

Fell off

2009-08-26T09:14:00.002-04:00

Well, I fell off the wagon and gained two pounds back. But I'm back now and my resolve is renewed. I was feeling very frustrated and defeated last night and indulged myself by complaining to DH. He was so supportive and helpful. It was sweet. You see, my mother is morbidly obese, can't even walk anymore, and she's only 51. So of course I've got that in the back of my head constantly. Now I have my sister's wedding mid-September, and I just know I'm going to be the biggest one there, and there will be comments behind my back. Something along the lines of, "She's going to end up just like her mother..." or something like that. I just seem to have a harder time than others losing weight. Most people just 'cut back' a little on the food and start exercising and boom-- weight loss. I think my thyroid problem is part of the problem, and I don't sleep well, which is linked to obesity. It causes the brain to secrete more of a hormone that causes us to feel hungry and store fat. I don't remember the exact name of the hormone.
So I'm back on the strict CRON-o-meter monitoring and I've decided to shake up my workouts again. The treadmill walking is drowning me in monotony. Seriously, if I have to get on there and just walk at my same old pace (which is pretty fast, 4 mph), and listen to my same old workout playlist, I'm going to scream. I just can't do it 6 days a week anymore. It's killing me!!! So, that being said, I'm trying some weight training 3 days a week. I've found some routines online, and I'll lift the most weight I can lift for one set, and we'll see if that helps. I need to be challenged. Luckily, DH has all the equipment I need. We have a bench, some barbells, and lots of dumbbells. Should be enough to train with.
We're still enjoying our CSA produce. I'm loving figuring out things to make out of what we get. We also had a little surprise with last week's haul. A yellow watermelon! I've never seen that before. It looked the same on the outside, but inside was a bright canary yellow. It was so shocking to cut it open and see the two halves fall open and then you have this gorgeous yellow color. The kids were skeptical, but loved it. My older one even said it was better than the red kind.
Well, that's all for my confession and whine-fest. Hope all are doing better than me recently:)

Down another pound!

2009-08-10T14:30:00.003-04:00

Yay! I'm down another pound! I'm not sure of my total, but I think it's around 7 pounds lost since we got back from Florida (where I gained a few). I'm still just eating dinner and a few snacks. I've struggled with the late night snacking a few nights this week, but I'm moving on. It's a learning curve, right? I'm down to just a handful of times a month of midnight snacking, so I'm definitely catching on.
I've been doing my walking. Which, I must say, is really boring to me right now. I've tried downloading some new music but that didn't work to rejuvenate me. But at least I'm doing it. Even if it is mindless. I'm walking fast enough, but maybe I'll try adding some incline intervals soon.
I've been cooking a lot of casseroles lately, and making two at once so I have one to freeze for later. I've done a few mexican ones (burrito casserole, enchiladas) and some unrolled cabbage rolls that are so easy, way easier than rolling and cooking the individual rolls.
I've made a new workout top. It came out 'okay'. Not the greatest thing I've ever made, but good enough to sweat in and wreck. And it's a nice wicking material so my sweat will be 'wicked away'.
Farm pickup is today. I can't wait. We're really seeing the bounty of the harvest paying off. I counted 11 items in today's pickup. They send a newsletter out each Monday morning telling us what's in the pickup and what's coming up soon. I've been making so many fresh veggie salads and side dishes. I made a carrot and beet salad with a lime vinegarette (sp?), and a maize pudding, and some baked eggplant sandwiches. The sandwiches were delicious. They had eggplant 'bread' and provolone for the middle, breaded and baked. Mmmmmm. The pudding is cooking right now. We'll see how that comes out. It's crazy that I have my oven on when it's supposed to be the hottest day of summer here in NY. It's supposed to get to 90. Oh well, we can always hang out downstairs where it's cooler.
Here's to summer and good eatin'!!!

No more running....waaaah!

2009-08-06T10:42:00.002-04:00

I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. He doesn't want me running anymore due to arthritis in my shoulders. He doesn't recommend running for women anyway, due to the stress on the hip joints, and I already seem to be getting some joint problems. SO...back to "rapid walking". BORING. But I'm doing it and I'm getting faster. I'm walking a 15 minute mile. Ok enough about that.
I'm down another half pound. I've been skipping food altogether during the day still. Just lots of water with lemon or lime or cucumbers in it. I really think that cutting out the aspartame did something to my hunger switch. Ever since I stopped taking that stuff in, I haven't struggled with hunger as much at all.
We are taking over the whole house now. We have an apartment downstairs and the tenant just left. It's so great for the kids to have a place to get all carazay!! It's turned into a whole project though. We are painting and taking baseboard heaters out, and getting molding and tables and fixing wall units and moving toys, oh my!! I now have a 'gym'. It's got my treadmill and the weight bench and some dumbells and barbells. I painted it orange. I love the color. I wasn't sure once I started to actually put it on the wall. I was like, "oh crap. Did I just make a huge mistake? What am I thinking going orange?!" But it all worked out once it was dry. It's so sunny and energizing.
I'm getting my own sewing/crafty area too. I've got a big table and my sewing machine's down there. I have little cubbies for my fabrics too. It looks so organized and nice now. Much better than having all these ugly brown boxes piled in the corner. I just made my first pair of workout pants. I can save lots of money making my own cool stuff out of high tech fabrics. Have you seen what stuff goes for in the stores?? I'm going to make another pair of pants and some tops too.
I'm having all this eagerness and anticipation for school. I can't wait. The school's online bookstore is closed right now, and I check every single morning in the hopes of getting my textbooks used instead of new so I can save me some money. But alas, as of this morning they are still closed. How nerdy is that? I am checking on textbooks like I'm waiting to buy tickets to System of a Down or something. By the way, they happen to be one of my most favoritest bands in the whole wide world:) Although Lady Gaga and Britney Spears are my go-to girls for the treadmill. Gotta have a good pop beat. And now I'm all stylin' with my new homemade workout gear!
Our garden is doing so-so. The tomatoes are as tall as DH. Couple of flowers but no fruit yet. The summer squash is blooming too. But everything else is dead or dying. Oh, the peppers are doing ok too. But the cucumbers and melons are gone.
The farm has me rediscovering my Moosewood cookbook. I made a zucchini and avocado salad, and am going to try a curried avocado soup tomorrow with a caribbean chilled striped bass. Mmmmm. I'm digging this whole cooking seasonally thing. We got some striped bass from a guy at DH's work who caught a ton and was looking to get rid of some. So I found a recipe for a fried fish that's chilled in a marinade. It looks great. That with a nice cool avocado soup will be nice when it's in the 80's here.
Well, I hope all are well and getting some support or inspiration from these words.

Down two more lbs!!!

2009-07-29T10:28:00.002-04:00

I'm down two more pounds, yay! I have been working out 6 days a week, with 4 of those running days, and 2 walking days. I've also been mainly eating dinner as my one meal of the day. I'm whittled the midnight snacking to about once or twice a week, and then I try to make it fruit. I'm very pleased with my progress.
The running is getting harder and harder, though. I'm sticking to it. I had to wimp out a little the other day because it was so humid I was having a hard time catching my breath. I ended up doing 4 1/2 of the 6 running intervals. Not too shabby. We fixed the humidity problem by moving the treadmill into the downstairs where it's cooler instead of where it was in the garage where the oil burner is and it's at least 5 degrees warmer than the outside.
It's disgustingly humid here in NY. Gross. I haven't even worked out yet and I feel like I need a shower.
On a completely different topic, my little one fell yesterday and busted his lip open. It bled sooo much, but it wan't deep and didn't need stitches. He's got a fat lower lip now and some bruising on his chin.
My kids are great, but I'm getting to that "is summer over yet?" point. My big boy is going into first grade. We got some workbooks to keep his skill sharp over the summer, and he actually enjoys doing them. I will be very busy once school starts, since I'm taking 4 classes myself, two on the weekends, one weekday night in which I need a sitter for about an hour, and one online. I'm taking yoga, human communication, nutrition and human performance, and freshman seminar. The freshman seminar is sooooo ridiculous. I'm a sophomore, and have been in college part time off and on for about four years. BUT....it's part of my fitness specialist degree program, so the director of the program is making me take it. At least it's online.
It's so important for me to lose this weight by the time I graduate in two years. I need to be in tiptop shape in order to either do personal training, or work in a gym. OR do personal training in a gym:) I think about it every day. Will I succeed? I'm so scared I'll fail. I have it in me and want to be positive, but you get those nagging feelings in the back of your head, you know? No one's going to hire a fat trainer.

Start of Week 3 Running

2009-07-27T10:24:00.002-04:00

I'm up to 6 minutes straight running, and one minute walking. I'm really enjoying the challenge of it all. I want to get myself a new pair of running shoes, but right now that's not possible. The running bit is getting easier, although the first mile is sooo hard mentally. I want to just stare at the timer, but that makes time go even slower, so I try not to do that.
Food is going great, but I have to cop to scarfing down a whole bag of Doritos in one day (not one sitting). My son found out that Doritos contain MSG and started crying, so I have officially sworn off of my favorite chips now. I really don't need them. I can't control myself. The salt in them made running so hard the next day, and I also bloated up two pounds temporarily. So no more, I'm going cold turkey.
I've taken to just eating dinner each day, with maybe a snack or two. One before dinner and one after, usually fruit or cottage cheese. I find it much easier to control my calorie intake if I limit food most of the day. I don't seem to suffer for it. I'm not cranky or tired. In fact, I would say I've had even more energy and motivation since doing this. I drink lots of water with lemon or lime slices. I used to drink this powder mix that you add to water. It contained aspartame. I decided I didn't want to have this chemical in my body anymore, and I think it has a lot to do with my hunger 'switch'. Since cutting out the aspartame, I don't constantly feel hungry. I feel great on little food. And it's healthier for all of us, since I just won't bring it in the house anymore.
Dinner these days is usually a grilled protein of some sort (chicken or beef or fish), and a large salad or veggie from the CSA. I don't have to worry so much about lowfat or fat free dressings and such, since I'm getting little to no calories throughout the day, I can afford the fat. I'm coming up nutritionally pretty good according to the CRON-o-meter, but I am coming up short on potassium consistently. I've read on the CR support group on Yahoo that some people use salt substitute like NuSalt to supplement potassium. I'm going to try this and see how it works.
That's all for me for now, have a great week everyone!

Beginning Week 2 of Operation: Running

2009-07-20T12:15:00.002-04:00

Running is going well. I'm up to running 2 minutes and walking 1 minute. I did this 10 times with a 3 minute warm-up and cool down period. I'm doing about a 13 minute 40 second mile. It's a little tough, I have to play little head games with myself so I won't stare at the timer. Like, I'll just run this half a lap then I can check the time. Still waiting for my runner's high, though. I'm pretty proud of myself for sticking to it so far. I know it's just going to get harder once school starts.
I'm sticking to the calorie goals I've set for myself. I'm still eating no more than 1500 calories a day.
I might get my own sewing area downstairs! We're thinking of not renting out the apartment downstairs and taking over the whole house for a play area for the kids, easier entertaining, and a sewing room for me. Right now, I sew at the dining room table with an extension cord running across the walkway, and my fabric and various thingies are stacked in the corner in cardboard boxes. If we took over the house, we could clear out the living room and the kids' room of toys and make a play area down there, making more living space for all of us upstairs. We just have to work out the finances, but we might be able to swing it. I'm already looking at paint chips and couches:)

Training in humidity sucks

2009-07-17T09:59:00.002-04:00

Seriously, I was sucking wind today. I wanted to quit, but I didn't let myself go there. I just huffed and puffed in the sticky humidity. Oh, for clarification, my treadmill is downstairs in our garage, so I am subject to the outdoor temperature, and sometimes it's actually hotter in the garage. So today it sucked to be me. But then it didn't suck to be me because I'm a happy girl now that I got my workout in, and it's only 10am!
I'm down 3 pounds! Woohoo! I've just been sticking to my fruits and vegetables, light on the grains and meats, and staying at 1500 calories. I'm loving watermelon right now. There's half of a huge specimen chilling in the fridge as I type. The kids have had their fill, and I'm thinking of freezing some chunks til semifrozen, and whirling them in the VitaMix w/ some agave syrup and making a slushy sweet creation. Mmmmm.
I love blue cheese dressing. I have recently found a brand that is yogurt-based and has way less calories and fat than the regular kind. It's from Bolthouse Farms. It's in the produce section by the packaged salads where they have all the fancy refrigerated dressings. They have other flavors too, but I'm in heaven with the blue cheese.
The farm share is getting larger each week as the season progresses. We have red potatoes, napa cabbage, romaine lettuce, beets, scallions, garlic, zucchini, and cucumbers. It's so much fun finding recipes to use up all the great produce.
Well, I'm off to a doctor appointment and the drugstore for some shampoo....Good luck today everyone!

Running

2009-07-13T10:11:00.002-04:00

On to another crazy idea....I'm starting an 8-week training program to get me running for 30 minutes straight. I got it from the Runner's World website. It starts with more walking than running and gets you to 30 minutes at the eighth week. I'm excited. I am just going to focus on this for a few months, instead of weights and crosstraining and all that jazz. Once I have the running down, I'll add some other activites, but it's going to take some time and dedication. It's also going to be particularly funny, since I'm about 40 pounds overweight:) Jiggle, anyone? lol
Food is going okay, but I'm still snacking at night about every other night, and it's adding anywhere from 100-250 calories to my calculated 1500 total. But I'm all about the self-acceptance, so I'm trying not to beat myself up over it. I'm trying to allot the calories for a midnight snack, but I have yet to master that whole brilliant idea. All in all, it's still not too bad, I'm staying at 1700 or less per day, and even though that's not strict calorie restriction, it's pretty good for dieting, since I'm at 195 right now (shhh...don't tell anyone).
Have you all seen the recent news clips on Calorie Restriction? I've seen two already. They spoke to people who practice it and had monkeys that had been fed 1/3 less than the other group of monkeys, and the monkeys who ate less were way healthier and lived longer. Hmmm....I wanna be a healthy, old monkey! Then the second story I saw had to make the brilliant claim that modern medicine was looking in to creating a pill that would mimic the results. Hmph. It figures. We're always looking for a pill to fix us nowadays.
I just got a great book on DIY cosmetics and cleaning and first aid. I've already gone crazy and ordered a variety of essential oils. I'm going to try the recipe for facial cleanser, moisturizer, spray cleaner, healing salve, window cleaner, and deodorant. The book is called Make Your Place: Affordable, Sustainable Nesting Skills by Raleigh Briggs. I ordered mine from buyolympia.com, but you could probably do a search and find some other places to order it from. This book was brought to my attention by Amy Karol over at Angrychicken.com. I have to give credit where credit is due. I love the whole DIY environmentally safe ideas. I'll post back what the results were.

On track

2009-07-09T09:55:00.003-04:00

Well, I gained almost five pounds from our trip to Florida to visit DH's parents. Ugh. It was all restaurant food, too. Breakfast and dinner. They live in a retirement community and we ate in the dining room for two meals a day. Lunch was always light. Alcohol every night too.
SO...back on the wagon for me! I have been staying at 1500 calories and have dropped one pound already. I'm back on the treadmill 3 days, and weights 3 days. I'm not doing the wii active for a little while. I just don't think it's tough enough, and I need something to really get me in shape now. I'll save the wii for when I start dropping more pounds and can ease up on the workouts a little. When I do the treadmill, I have a graph that shows laps, so I do half a lap walking at about 3.5 mph, and then I run half a lap at 5 mph. I'm not really a runner, so this lets me get some running in and get better at it. The goal being to eventually run one, walk a half, then ultimately to run most of the way, if not all the way. I will also keep track of distance, working from my 2 miles right now up to maybe 4 or 5 miles. I like the treadmill because I find I can really get into it with my iPod. I love upbeat dancey type music for working out. It keeps me motivated.
The kids had a blast in Florida. We did the beach one day, then did the pool a couple of days. I got a little burned, but it went away really quickly. I had on 50 spf too. I just don't do the sun very well. My oldest is half Puerto Rican, so he got all nice and brown. My little one is very fair like me, with blond hair and blue eyes, so he had a hat and sunglasses on the whole time. He didn't burn, though, so that was good. They got to spend some quality time with their grandparents. It was nice.
I've discovered a new lunch combination that is great. Take Greek yogurt (plain, nonfat), and add about 2 tablespoons of apple butter and about 1 tablespoon of ground flaxseeds or wheat germ (I like the flaxseeds). It is so rich and delicious, with just the right amount of tanginess and sweetness. Yum. I'm also still doing the green smoothies once a day. I'm into the combination of spinach, banana, and blueberries right now. I have been juicing every other day.
Well, I hope all who read this are doing well and living healthy. Let's do this!

Healthy again

2009-06-23T08:07:00.002-04:00

We're all over the flu now, but my oldest still needs breathing treatments for the next month. Geez. That's a lot of breathing treatments. I guess they really want to make sure the symptoms are gone.
Eating has been good, not great. I tend to not use the CRON o meter while my husband's home. Which is Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. SO...I'm resolving to use it this coming weekend. I'm still not losing however, but I've begun working out again. I had to stop during the whole flu episode. I'm stuck right at the same number for a while now. I'm sure the key is the weekends. Not that I'm pigging out or anything, I'm just not as precise with my calorie intake.
I got my little one's pictures taken a few weeks ago. The photographers had me sign a release form because they want to put his pictures up in the studio, all blown up. I guess I got me a cute kid, or something! They were in love with Ivan, they kept asking me, "Are you sure he's two? He's better behaved than most of the two year olds we see. Is he for real?!" I don't know if they use that line on all the mommies, but I felt great:) I was going to try to keep my kid's' names anonymous on this blog, but I don't care now. My oldest is Jackson, and my baby is Ivan. I could have tried to give them cute little nicknames, but I'm just not that creative at this moment. Hopefully I don't have any stalkers out there!
We picked up from the farm yesterday. We got peas, broccoli raab, parsley, and lots of swiss chard. Oh and zucchini. But only two zucchini. I can make some yummy faux crab cakes out of the zucchini. It's easy, you just mix the grated zucchini w/ seasoned bread crumbs, egg, and some Old Bay seasoning. Then fry to golden deliciousness! Throw in some onion if you want. This whole farm thing is probably one of the highlights of the year for me. I get so excited to see what the spread will be and how to cook it. I am going to saute the broccoli raab in some onions and oil, then sprinkle some gorgonzola on it. Mmmmmm....... I've never eaten broccoli raab, but I'm sure it will be delicious. Everything's better with cheese on it, as far as I'm concerned. I'm sure most of you would agree. Who doesn't love cheese!! Well, don't answer that. I know someone out there is going, "Ewwww" over my ravings on cheese.
Well, that's it for me for now. Still plugging away at the healthy lifestyle. Hope all who reads this are well.

Influenza Virus A

2009-06-16T12:16:00.002-04:00

Yep...flu A has taken out my family. My older son developed a bad cough and fever Sunday night. Well, we took him to the doctor yesterday, and he tested positive for flu A. Now, it could definitely be swine flu, however the doctor said that unless he was ill enough to be hospitalized we wouldn't know. I have symptoms, the baby has mild symptoms, and so does DH. We think the baby hasn't had much problems because he gets a steroid breathing treatment via nebulizer every night, which would reduce any inflammation and coughing. He did have a fever last night. They are both on Tamiflu. Which, just so you know, is INCREDIBLY expensive. My baby is covered by his dad's insurance and medicaid, so he didn't cost anything, but Jackson, my older boy, his tamiflu cost 86 dollars!!! With the insurance too, I might add. Aye, aye, aye....
I also found out that a good friend of ours has rectal cancer. He is interested in juicing and alternative therapies, so he wants to come over and check out my juicer and look in to some healthier nutrition. I've seen a documentary called The Beautiful Truth, which is about something called Gerson Therapy. Sounds incredible, but it's very healthy, and although I wouldn't say it can cure cancer definitively (what do I know??), it is very nutritious and includes juicing and raw foods. He's very eager to talk to someone about this. He has all these decisions to make and he wants to get some feedback from others. I think he's very scared and just wants someone to talk to. He's seen three different doctors and they all three had a different perspective and possible outcomes. He was supposed to come over yesterday, but we're quarantined here at the moment.
My diet continues to be pretty good. Not stellar sometimes, but every day is a new one, right? I've caved in to late night temptations a few times, but it's getting to be less and less. I'm into lowfat cottage cheese right now. I find that after my workout, it's what I want. I've also been digging honeydew melon. It is soooo sweet right now. I can't believe how sweet it is! Almost too sweet, but not really :) I've been having green juices about every other day. I find unless I put just the right ingredients in, I can't stomach it lately. This means lots of ginger and lemons and apples. I made some the other day with too much kale and it was awful. Kinda turned my stomach. What a turn off. I'm thinking maybe I'll dilute my juice with half filtered water to weaken the taste a little. My tastebuds just can't handle it lately.
Onward and upward! Well, if we're talking weight, then downward.....lol.

Natural Food Store Haul

2009-06-11T10:44:00.003-04:00

I went to our local natural foods store and picked up hemp tortillas, organic bulgur wheat, gluten free mini pizza crusts (4 in pack), and my usual liquid greens supplement. This new liquid green supplement also has the superfruits in it. You know, noni, acai, etc. We'll see how this works. The hemp tortillas are particularly interesting to me. I'm wondering how I'll like the taste. I'll let you know when I know.
Food plan today: cottage cheese, pineapple, green juice (apple, romaine, cucumber, kale, lemon, ginger), hamburger on whole wheat bun, homemade wedgie fries, and of course my daily dose of quesadilla on whole wheat tortilla. Can't do without that these days. I'm having a hard time getting all my carbs in on the CRON-o-meter. I get the protein and fat, but with my calorie range it's been tough to fit in the carbs. I guess I could add in some brown rice or something, but that's pretty calorie dense. Hmmm.
I did workout number three of the 30 Day Challenge today. It had some tougher stuff in it. I did combos like bicep curls w/ shoulder presses, and there was also some plyometric side to side jumps, which my fat ass had a hard time doing. I did all the reps though, so I'm celebrating it as a success! Then the cooldown was this hilarious dance thing. I had a lot of fun doing the shopping cart:) All in all, a great purchase. It's even better with the Wii Fit balance board.
I have a busy day tomorrow. My oldest has his first field day at school, so I have to go cheer him on. I'm thinking he's going to have a meltdown. He's very hard on himself, and everybody's parents will be there, no pressure or anything, and I'm afraid if he doesn't do to well on something, he's gonna lose it. My little one also has pictures tomorrow. He hasn't had photos since the Christmas card. I want to do a little beachy theme with him. I'm putting him in little shorty overalls that are plaid. I will have him barefoot too. I can't wait to see how it comes out. Being the only girl in a house full of boys is very interesting. DH doesn't understand the need for pictures. I'm like, "Hello. He's only going to be this little and adorable for a very short time. When he gets older he'll get the usual school pics, but these will be special." He got all quiet and said, "ok." I've also become an expert burper, and can talk farts with the best. Totally gross, I know, but I'm a lone estrogen creature in an all testosterone environment.
Oh, my oldest has recently become interested in taking showers for some reason. Well, every time he gets in he states, "Aaaahhh there's nothing like peeing in the shower!" Only in a houseful of penises will you hear this;)

Quesadillas

2009-06-09T09:34:00.002-04:00

As in, what have I been craving the most? Quesadillas. I've been having one a day for the past few days. I use whole grain tortillas, and low fat colby/monterey cheese. I'm still interested in the raw foods, but I'm thinking that 100% is not for me right now. I crave ooey gooey cheese and warm pastas too much.
The farm haul yesterday was great. Spinach, strawberries, something called a garlic scape (basically a tendril from a garlic plant, tastes like a cross between garlic and a scallion), lettuce, and salad mix. I still haven't used up all the arugula from last week, so I'm thinking I'll make some arugula pesto with what's left. Mmmmm.
I just started exercising again yesterday. I was on death's door from Wednesday til Saturday. I'm still not 100%, but good enough to exercise. I started the 30 day Challenge over AGAIN. That's 3 times, I think. I'm sticking to 1500 calories a day and have lost 2 pounds.
My DH and I went to a concert on Sunday. We saw Street Sweeper Social Club, Nine Inch Nails, and Jane's Addiction. Good stuff. I have seen Nine Inch Nails 6 times now. Will probably see them again. I'm getting old. You know you're getting older when the band says, "Thank you for supporting us all these years." Geez. Oh well, it was great seeing Jane's Addiction reunite for this tour. Perry Farrell (lead singer) actually said that the last time they played NY together was in 1991. They sounded great, like they never broke up.
The food for today: Green juice (romaine, cucumber, kale, apple, ginger, lemon), cottage cheese, quesadilla, tilapia, sauteed arugula with garlic and oil, and maybe some fresh strawberries for dessert:)

Awesomeness

2009-06-02T09:37:00.002-04:00

The awesomeness I refer to is me:) I didn't snack attack last night, and I got my work out in. I stayed at 1500 calories for the day (actually just under). I just generally rocked it out yesterday!
I am having green juice for breakfast today (after I work out), cottage cheese and fresh cut pineapple for lunch, and homemade pizza with whole wheat crust and turkey pepperoni. I know, I might as well just have the regular pepperoni for all the good it'll do me, but I still cling to the notion that it's somehow healthier, even though loaded with salt and preservatives. Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither are my eating habits. So there.
My youngest son and I are both sick. I can't figure out if it's allergies or a cold. We both have sore throats, sneeze a lot, and have watery eyes and runny noses. My son's boogers are clear, and from what I've heard, clear nasal discharge is a sign of allergies. All I know for sure is that it sucks!
Today is Day 2 of the 30 Day Challenge on my Wii Active. I think tomorrow is a rest day. I did a lot of different moves yesterday, running/walking, squats, bicep curls, bent over rows, side lunges, and kickboxing. The running kicks my butt, and it's a little strange running in place in my living room. I didn't wear the right bra, and my boobs were hurting. I'm a 40D, so my cup definitely runneth over, and I practically need scaffolding to stop them from bouncing. That's one area I don't lose weight in, my chest. I'm not sure if it's a blessing or not. Some days yes, and some days, when I want to wear cool halter tops or tube tops, it's NOT. I have yet to find the right strapless bra. They all seriously lack in the support department. If anyone out there knows of a good brand, let me know!
Oh, we picked up at the farm yesterday. We got swiss chard, arugula, butter lettuce, and rosemary. Kinda light, but the season just started and we have til October to make up for it. We had a head of the butter lettuce with our grilled pork chops last night, and poor DH had a little sandy dirt in his salad. I only had one or two bites that were gritty. I just washed them under the tap real well (well obviously not that well) and put them in the spinner. I think next time I'll make a bath for them in the sink and swish them around, and then do the spinner.
So that's the rundown for me. Hope today's as good as yesterday, so I can get some momentum goin'. Hope all who reads this is well and healthy.

Still here

2009-06-01T08:37:00.002-04:00

Well, I'm still alive, if not thriving quite yet. I'm starting today with my exercise again. My foot is totally healed up. Okay, it hurts very little, and I'm going to favor my other foot.
Food has been angelic during the day, and very devilish at night. I undo all of my good eating at night. Again, I don't sleep well, so I'm up every few hours. This is another issue that has to be dealt with, I know it's not optimal for losing weight. SO, any ideas on what to do when I wake up in the night? What the heck should I do, read? Watch some tv? Help!
So that's it for the Debbie Downer section of this blog entry.
We pick up our second batch from the farm today! I'm so excited. I wonder what we'll get. I am thinking probably more of what we got last time plus a new thing or two. We will go after my oldest gets home from school and finishes his homework.
Our garden...hmmm...it's surviving and not thriving (like me, lol, must be contagious). All of our plants from seed died, and DH bought seedlings already grown and put them in. We now have tomato, cucumber, zucchini, some hot peppers, and melon. This whole gardening thing is really a pain so far. We're thinking DH put the garden in an area where it's not getting enough sunlight. It gets sun, but not as much as we think it probably needs. Oh well, it's an adventure.

Local CSA (Community Supported Agriculture)

2009-05-26T08:05:00.002-04:00

I'm so excited! We joined our local farm co-op! We get a share each Monday til October. The first pick-up was yesterday. We got arugula, salad mix (like spring/mesclun mix), spinach, mint, and chives. The first pick ups are light, getting heavier as the season progresses. Everything is locally grown and organic. We pick up at the farm, which is about 4 miles away. We are so lucky to have this near us. The fun part is getting veggies you may not be familiar with and finding recipes to make out of it. Like the arugula. We don't really eat that too much, but I've already found a few recipes to try.
As far as CR goes, I've been off the wagon since Saturday due to the holidays. I've got to learn how to work my CR in to gatherings without seeming like I'm being fussy or weird. I've gained 5 pounds. I really have to get myself under control. I'm starting fresh today, I've already put my food for the day into the CRONometer, and will be sticking to it, come hell or high water. Or doughnuts....hehe.
My foot is mostly all better, so I'm going to start my workouts again. I'm planning on the doing the Wii Active. Someone commented about the Active pack, asking if it was the same as the Fit. It's not the same. We have the Fit, which is a game and a balance board pack, and the Active is separate, with a game and a leg strap and resistance band. You don't need the balance board to do the active, but it is balance board compatible. Meaning, you can use the board, but you don't have to have it. I use it, might as well, we paid enough for it:)
Oh, I saw a really good documentary about aspartame. It was called Sweet Misery. If you have Netflix and can watch movies instantly on your computer, it's on the instant watch list. It freaked me out. I know that these kinds of tales have two sides, but I agree with the movie. It's some freaky bad shit. I won't feed it to my kids, and I won't eat it anymore. We also avoid MSG now. Not that we ate a lot of it to begin with, but whenever we order chinese take out, which isn't often, it's got loads of it. Did you know that MSG is also in my favorite splurge food, Doritos??? Yeah, I remember being heartbroken when I was pregnant cuz I couldn't eat my Doritos:( Waaaaahhh.
Well, that's it. Newfound resolve (again), no aspartame, and buckets of fresh organic produce!!!!

Wii Active

2009-05-21T07:07:00.003-04:00

I went and bought the Wii Active pack yesterday. It's a Wii game, a special legstrap, and a resistance band. I really liked it. Unfortunately, I'm out of the race today. I've been ordered by DH to stay off my foot. It felt worse after working out yesterday. The game is neat. You make your own profile and customize the looks, weight, height, age and stuff. Then you can do a workout with specific goals like burning a certain amount of calories, or a certain time, or cardio or strength. There's also the 30 day challenge, which is what I went for. It trains you everyday, includes rest days, and trains different parts so you don't strain any one body part. You strap this leg strap to your right thigh, then put one part of the two-part controller in the pocket on the strap. Then you can do all sorts of things, like boxing, inline skating, and traditional calisthenics like squats and lunges and bicep curls with the band.
I think exercise is the missing piece for me. Any time I've ever lost weight doing any sort of diet, it only starts kicking in once I'm doing moderate exercise. So I'm back on track. I wish my foot was though. I'm sticking to 1500 calories a day, but struggling with food at night, AGAIN. I'm eating fruit, which is probably the lesser of all evils I could be eating, but still. I scarfed down some pineapple and cantaloupe at about 2 am last night. I think it's cuz I don't sleep well. And since I'm up and awake, I feel hunger. If I was asleep I'd bypass the hunger til morning. At least, that's my theory. I'm going to try the valerian root I bought about a month ago but never took. I just forget to take it.
So I'm trying to follow the food combining rules. We had burgers and cucumber salad for dinner last night, and I skipped a bun for my burger. Just protein and veggies. It was tough though:) I love me some juicy burgers on a bun. Who doesn't??? Ok, don't answer that. I'm aware that there's people out there who don't do meat. Fine by me, leaves more for me:) I actually only eat meat at dinner, and we usually do meatless days once or twice a week. Beans or pasta.
It's so nice here finally. The sun is shining and it's nice and warm, but not too warm. I don't do well in the humid heat of the northwest in summer. This time is nice for me.

Juice Feast is soooo over

2009-05-18T11:35:00.002-04:00

I ended my juice fast after day two. I had that barbecue to go to on Sunday, and I was craving some solids. I did enjoy it a lot though, and I think next month I will try to go more than 2 days, maybe (crossing my fingers) dare I say....7 days???
I am still doing mostly raw, and staying at 1500 calories, of course except for yesterday. I pigged out on burgers and dogs and chips. Oh well, life is for living, and I was just coming off the juice fast. Bad combination! But I had a great time, I caught up with friends I haven't seen for a long time. My family has sort of been off the radar the last year or so due to my son's complications from prematurity. We kinda fell off the face of the planet for a while. Now that my son is doing so well we are starting to catch back up with all our friends. It's really nice. It was our friend's son's second birthday. We were actually due with our babies about a week apart, but my son came in January, he couldn't wait til May! The conversation was all about my son for a while, which was weird since it was this other baby's birthday party. He really is a miracle.
I've discovered a new juice combo that I'm in love with. I love borscht and have tried a few raw versions, but this juice really tastes like the borscht I'm used to. I juice beets with the greens, celery, romaine, an apple or two, and then stir in some lemon juice. It's delish. My husband is half Polish and half Russian, so we know borscht, and this is the closest to the cooked version I've come across. Now if I could just have raw gawumpki (sp?) and raw pierogies:) Hmmmmm.....
I started exercising again today. I hit the treadmill, or did the treadmill hit me? I could only do a mile. I have had this pain in my arch and my heel for a week or so now, and it was uncomfortable after a while on the treadmill. I think I need to rest it by just putting my feet up and staying off it, but I'm stubborn and don't sit much during the day. If it continues, I guess I'll have to go see my doctor, but I'm hoping resting it will help. I'm planning on doing weights tomorrow, which shouldn't hurt the foot too much. Just the rest of me will be hurting:)

Day Two

2009-05-15T17:50:00.002-04:00

I must say I feel better today than yesterday. The energy doesn't have that edginess to it, and I'm not hungry a lot. When I do feel hunger, a big glass of juice satisfies it. I went shopping today and got another pineapple, some pears, red cabbage, celery, apples, oranges, cantaloupe, beets, and cucumbers. The beets with the greens have a very earthy flavor that needs something. I don't know whether to go sweeten it up a bit, or to do the garlic savory thing.
I just had some spinach/pear/apple juice and it was too sweet, needs something, maybe less fruit and more greens, maybe some cucumber or celery to lighten it up.
I had to order my bridesmaid dress for my sister's September wedding, and I had to get measured today. Ugh. I was shocked by my waist size. Let's just say I'm not in the 3os anymore:( It was disgusting. I had to call in the measurements, and they added 50 bucks to the price of the dress because I was a size 22, and the plus sizes cost more. I'm the maid of honor, and I am hoping to lose a little weight before then. I don't need it to be drastic, but I want to be well on my way! Oh well, if I'm a cow, I'm a cute sassy cow:)

Juice Feast Day 1

2009-05-14T16:45:00.003-04:00

I'm feeling good, a little edgy. Can't explain it. Maybe it's just more energy that I'll have to channel productively. I feel like I should be doing something.....weird.
I've had about 5 glasses of juice. I can't say how many ounces cuz I didn't count. I also didn't keep track of the combinations. I can say I've had beets, romaine, ginger,kale, cabbage, carrots, apples, pineapple, and lemons. Not all at once, but that's the veggies and fruit I've juiced today.
I'm already dreading feeding my toddler and DH. I want some solid, hot food. I am thinking of ways to distract myself, and I think I'll keep sewing today. I'm working on a shell, in a brown w/ cream flower knit. What the heck is a 'shell' anyways??? I think it looks like a sleeveless tee shirt really.
Tomorrow I think I'll hit the produce aisle in the grocery store for some more stuff. I have enough for another day, but I want some different combos. I'm out of beets and they were really good. I didn't care for the taste of the cabbage all that much, but I'm sure it would be good in a different combination than what I tried. I feel lighter. I'm looking forward to tomorrow and continuing the experiment. I do have a problem though. We were invited to a friend's house for a barbecue, and I don't want to have to sit and explain what I'm doing. People will think I'm weird (which I guess I am, but not because I do juice feasting!). Any suggestions on how to handle this? Or should I just break my feast on Sunday? I really wanted to go for more days though....help!

Inspired

2009-05-13T12:23:00.002-04:00

I'm feeling ready to try a juice fast, or "feast". I'm thinking I'll try as many days as I can handle, maybe 7? I've been reading about so many successes and different combinations of juices, that it's inspiring me to try it as a sort of detox for spring. In my list of 20 things to do this year that I posted earlier, I wrote that a detox each season was a goal of mine. Well, I haven't done a detox yet for spring, so here goes nothing! I will start tomorrow. I have lots of fruits and veggies on hand for a few days. I will definitely post updates each day, so you all can see what the effects are. At least the effects on me. The hardest part I think will be making a nice cooked dinner for my family and then sitting down with them with my large glass of juice. It just seems weird.
I wanted to share something else. My youngest has had this weird rash on his cheeks forever. It's called petechia, and he even saw a hematologist for it, and they came up with nothing. It's not excema, it's not any kind of disease or disorder, it was just a mystery. Well, I didn't even notice this for a while, but it hit me one day that it's disappeared! Completely gone. And this rash would always get way worse whenever he cried, and he had had several crying fits and it never came back. My DH seems to think it's the green smoothies. It's the only thing new that's been introduced. I'm not so sure, but it kinda makes sense. Must be some enzymes in the raw spinach and fruits. My skin has improved, so why not his, huh? Weird and wonderful.
It's almost 1 here and I just now finished my breakfast banana basil smoothie. I will have a big glass of juice (romaine, kale, apple, lemon, and ginger) for lunch, and dinner is grilled chicken breast and corn. I haven't thought about snacks yet, but I'm probably going to have another smoothie of some sort or juice.
I looked on a calorie calculator online, and it said I should be having 1532 calories a day for fat loss. So that's my goal. I know in previous posts I stated that I was going to try 1400, but I never got there. I stayed at 1600. So I'm going to go for 1500 and see what happens.
Well, it's gorgeous here today and I'm going to repot my herbs and maybe plant some forget-me-nots in my flower box on my front stoop that I have yet to use. The DH made it for me, then we were too scared to actually put the herbs in there because we thought critters might eat them. The garden may or may not be a success. DH thinks the watermelon and cucumbers might make it, but the tomatoes are looking really sad and pathetic. He's mentioned that if they don't improve by this weekend, he'll hit the Home Depot and pick up some tomato plants and try that out.
Here's to happiness and health everyone! Let's do this!

Pissy

2009-05-08T07:49:00.003-04:00

So I'm all ticked off cuz I typed out this long entry then hit some stupid button on my keyboard and POOF! it was gone. This was yesterday. So on with a new entry....
I discovered a delicious shake thanks to The Raw Epicurean. A banana basil smoothie. Omg, it is sooo delicious. I'm not even that big of a banana or basil fan, but whirl 'em together with some water and agave syrup, and boy what a combo. I put it in the fridge for about an hour to chill.
I'm still doing the raw thing during the day. I'm at 1600 calories a day and still not losing, so I'm going to drop to 1400 and see where that leads me. I've seen so many various levels, I guess it's a very personal thing. Some girls are at 1200 and some are enjoying 2000. I still have to consider my medications and thyroid problem. That, and obesity runs in my family. What a lovely mixture of variables, huh?
The sprouts are going in to the garden this weekend. Everything but the chives has sprouted. Two types of tomatoes, cucumber, watermelon, parsley, basil, and cilantro. I can't wait til harvest time! I'm an immediate gratification type girl, so everything in the middle is kinda boring to me. I'm sure the kids will get a kick out of it though.
I'm feeling all crafty lately. I'm working on embellishing some tank tops, and I just finished sewing a tunic top. I am going to start a maxi dress today. I have the pattern, I just need to pick a fabric...
I just got a new tattoo and it's all healed up now. I'm craving another one already. I just love body art. It's a large blue star with a trail of gradually smaller stars of various colors trailing down the center of my back, starting with the big blue star right on the back of my neck. I'll just post a pic. It's better than explaining it. Forgive my flabby back:) I'm working on it!
I registered for the fall semester. I'm taking a speech class (scaaaaary), yoga, and nutrition and human performance. I'm really looking forward to yoga on Saturday mornings.
I just ordered a new raw food cookbook. I know I said I'd review the two I already have, but I don't feel ready yet. I need to try more recipes. I also ordered the first of the Sookie Stackhouse vampire books that the show True Blood is based on, and.....wait for it....Twilight. Yes, I'm actually going to succumb to the teen hysteria. I guess it's nostalgic for me, because I remember reading the Anne Rice vampire books when I was in high school. I was so deep and brooding and alienated....lol.
Watched The Kite Runner last night. I actually read that book and it was awesome. The movie was good, although of course never as good as the book, right?
Ok, that's about all I'm up to lately. Happy Friday everyone, and here's to nutrition!

Good weekend:) Yay!

2009-05-04T08:28:00.002-04:00

I suffered no setbacks this weekend! Well, I shouldn't say 'suffered', like it's something I have no control over, I should say, 'hey, I didn't screw up'. The DH, baby, and I even went out on Sunday to pick up some cds at Best Buy, then on to the bookstore for some raw food un-cookbooks (DH says how can they be called cookbooks when you are not really cooking anything??). Well, we ended up being too eager for a Sunday, and showed up about 20 minutes too early. There was a bagel store inside this particular strip mall, and we came 'this close' to going and getting bagels while we waited for the store to open. But there was a grocery store there too, so I remembered that I need a few things and just went in there for quick stop. So not only did I avert disaster nutritionally, but I actually picked up some fresh produce and vitamins for my 6 yr old.
Now I'm actually going to work out for the first time in about 2 months. Just walking. I told DH I want money for a new gym membership for Mother's Day. I have a treadmill in the garage, and weights and a bench, and various dvds, but I enjoy classes and find I work harder in a group setting. Maybe cuz I am not just answering to myself, but have this evil instructor there watching me. And this particular instructor is very evil:) I know her outside of the gym, so I am allowed to say that!
I think I haven't lost any weight due to not exercising. For me personally, the weight has always come off only when I exercise. The diet's important, but the exercise seems to be the key for me. I think once I get that ball rolling, the weight will start moving. Now I really have goals due to the fitness specialist program. I want to be ripped so I get lots of clients!
I got two new cookbooks at Borders. I will be back to review them in the next post. So far they look pretty good, and you don't even need that darn dehydrator for most of them! I want a dehydrator, but that's only if I end up committing to the raw food plan. It's not a necessity.
Happy Monday all!

So far, so good

2009-05-01T14:01:00.002-04:00

This weekend is going to be a victory I tell you! I even passed up Doritos on sale at my grocery store....Doritos are my favorite junk food. I walked right past them to get to the good stuff. The kale, lettuce, lemons by the bag, apples, watermelon, avocados, and bananas. The good stuff:) I had green juice for breakfast, some guacamole salad and homemade tomato soup for lunch, and dinner will be whole grain pasta with meat sauce. No garlic bread, no parmesan cheese on top. And of course my snacks will be more green juice and a green smoothie.
I got a letter letting me know that I didn't get in to nursing school. SO...I went and applied for the fitness specialist program. This will let me be a personal trainer or instructor, and if I want to go further, even sports medicine or athletics. This is a good choice for me. I like sharing my knowledge and helping people. Now I definitely have to lose this weight, or I won't have any clients! No one wants to go to a tubby trainer, lol. I was very devastated at not getting in to the nursing program, but I decided to roll with the punches and whip up a Plan B. The first course in the fitness program is a nutrition and sports performance class. I'm very interested to see what they tell me. I'm not exactly coming at it without any knowledge of nutrition. I see some spirited debates happening.
Well, good luck for the weekend, everyone!

Pizza, and not the CR way:)

2009-04-27T07:35:00.002-04:00

I not only had pizza this weekend, but I also ate another bagel with cream cheese at my son's soccer game. I've been stopping at Dunkin' Donuts to get my son's father and myself coffee. Well, I always get them a donut (my son and his father) and myself that darn bagel. I'm now newly resolved not to go off plan this coming weekend, and I have all week to practice and prepare! It's tough because the DH is also home for three days, he only works a four day work week, and I want to indulge a little. I'm going to try some new recipes this weekend. That will keep me busy as well as nourish my body.
I'm drinking my green juice right now. I'm loving it. It's so lemony and gingery and bright green...I wonder if chlorophyll can turn your skin green like eating too many carrots can turn you orange? If so, I'm going to look an awful lot like Kermit the frog soon:) I don't have a food plan for the day yet, as it's early morning here. I will bust out the CRON-o-meter and carefully plan today's food. I've been reading a little about food combining, or rather a monodiet (I think that's what it's called). I'm trying to stick to the rules and see if I notice a difference. One that I have a hard time with is not combining cheese and starch. I love to make little quesadillas out of whole grain tortillas and low fat cheese with homemade fresh guacamole on top. According to "the rules", this is a big fat no-no. This is obviously not raw either. I'm trying to stick to raw during the day, with a cooked dinner. I'm thinking I can come up with some sort of raw quesadilla....hmmm....the wheels are turning.
The sprouts for the garden are getting taller. The chives, cilantro, and parsley never germinated, but I used old seeds so I'm not too surprised. Does anyone know about cucumber sprouts? They got all tall and then flopped over. I don't know if they are supposed to do that, or are they supposed to stand up tall?
Ooh I made watermelon slushy/ice yesterday. I put fresh cubed watermelon in the freezer, let it get mostly frozen, then put it in the blender with some agave nectar and fresh lime juice. It was 85 degrees here on Long Island yesterday, and this was soooo refreshing and tasty. I ate a big bowl of it after dinner (whole grain rotini w/ pesto sauce). Try it out!

Laziness

2009-04-22T06:59:00.002-04:00

I have some pictures of the new sprouts, but I'm too lazy to get them off the camera right now.
The cucumbers sprouted like crazy, you can practically watch them grow. The basil and both tomatoes are coming up too. It's been a real trip to watch my son get so excited over this whole process.
I got my Raw Food Detox Diet book in the mail a few days ago. I'm very motivated, and this book has lots of great food, and ideas for going raw. The book doesn't make you go all raw 24-7 immediately, it's a process, and I really like that the author did it that way. And the recipes for the dressings and sauces look mouthwatering.
I've been eating a lot of juices and green smoothies during the day, with a cooked dinner. Usually some sort of meat with vegetables. I might cook a starch, but I usually just do this for the family. I have been noticing so much energy. I don't need my morning coffee some days. I feel so "juiced" (lol) from the juice, I don't even want it. The DH was floored when I said that I didn't have any coffee yesterday. He was like, "REALLY???"
I made some gazpacho yesterday. Technically, this is a raw recipe. Yummy. I've learned from experience to only put in one clove of raw garlic, as that stuff tends to get stronger as it sits. I followed the recipe from the detox book, but added a little balsamic vinegar. I also made an 'Effervescent Cantaloupe Soup' from my American Heart Association Low Calorie Cookbook. Thumbs down. It would have been delicious had it not had ginger ale in it. I didn't care for the bubbliness. It felt like a burning sensation almost. Otherwise the flavors were good. There was some coconut flavoring, some lime, and fat free half and half. However, the family wanted nothing to do with it. Wouldn't even try it. So I'm afraid I won't be making it again.
The calories are staying around 1600. I'm not losing any major weight, but at this point in the process, I feel so good it's not a major issue. I just know that as the eating comes along and my nutrition gets better and my body detoxes, the weight is bound to follow. There's no way that a woman of my size can maintain this weight with 1600 calories. I do have other issues, I have hypothyroidism and am also on a antidepressant/antianxiety cocktail. Both of these things can hinder weight loss and even cause weight gain. So I have that going for me, right? lol

Garden

2009-04-20T07:23:00.002-04:00

We started a garden this weekend! I'm so excited. We started the seeds inside in this little greenhouse seedling kit. There's cucumbers, two kinds of tomatoes, and watermelon. Jackson wanted watermelon. I also took the opportunity of all the space in the little kit to plant some more herbs. The ones I have planted on the living room window sill are looking a little sad, and the basil just never took off. I planted basil, chives, cilantro and parsley.
The grill also it's appearance this weekend. I made burgers on it last night. Yum. So begins the season of outdoor cooking. I love it. I need to get a fish/veggie basket this year though, because we are NOT eating steaks, ribs, and burgers all year, lol.
Eating was not right Sunday. I ate Doritos. Why do I feel like I'm in a confessional??? Forgive me readers, for I have sinned;) I not only ate Doritos, but I had a bagel with veggie cream cheese for breakfast. Instead of the usual green smoothie. I did, however, make some fresh carrot apple juice. So it wasn't a total wash. I'm happy to say the Doritos have left the building, so there's no more temptation. I should never have bought them, but I just had this craving for chips. Oh well, I'm human. I make mistakes. It's the journey, not the destination, right?
I've planned out my day today in the CRON-o-meter. Green smoothie, fresh fruit, grilled chicken and broccoli for dinner, and some healthy hot and sour soup. Much better. I have to atone for my indiscretions yesterday:) I'll be completely on pointe today.
On a lighter note, my son had a soccer game yesterday and just stood on the field. The ball went right by him along with a gaggle of children and he just stood right in his little spot on defense. Sheesh. We were freezing our butts off out there on that field watching him do NOTHING. Little rat. Oh well, maybe he'll decide to play next time, lol.